TED Talks App, Time for Change…

Have you heard of TED Talks? Of course you have. Is there anyone that hasn’t? I suppose I shouldn’t presume that everyone knows about TED Talks just because I do, and because I have heard of them for quite a while, so, here is what the organization has to say about itself:

TED is a nonprofit devoted to spreading ideas, usually in the form of short, powerful talks (18 minutes or less). TED began in 1984 as a conference where Technology, Entertainment and Design converged, and today covers almost all topics — from science to business to global issues — in more than 100 languages.” (TED)

These talks are great, informative, and the range of topics available seem nearly endless. I love TED Talks, which shouldn’t be surprising to anyone – learning in bite-sized morsels. I have to be honest, though. There is one thing I wish was different about these talks: I wish they were longer.

The other night, as we are getting ready for bed, Lance announces that he now has access to all of the TED Talks. The rate at which my head snapped around should have caused damage. “How did you do that?!” The information gatherer in me was at the highest attention, ready to happy dance at any second.

“There’s an app,” Lance replied, casually, as if there was nothing significant about his discovery. Sometimes, I wonder if we live in the same Universe.

Thankfully, I hadn’t shut my phone off for the night, yet…Google Play Store, here I come. I have bookmarked a number of talks, have about a gazillion more topics to peruse though, and listened to about 10 talks already. To say this is a bit of heaven for me is to understate things. I am obsessed. I think I could spend at least a full, solid day just bookmarking the talks I will want to listen to.

The timing for this to come into my life couldn’t be better, since I have soooo much time on my hands. I can’t drive for Uber, and cleans have, yet, to pick up for the season, which is a bit disturbing. After the two weeks of being stuck at home when my license was suspended and, now, its been another two weeks stuck at home while the Prius is in the repair shop after being hit, I am a bit stir crazy.

Now, I know I’m usually pretty good with being home, but this down time doesn’t seem to be going quite that smoothly. I feel like there is SOMETHING I should be doing, but I couldn’t begin to tell you what that something might be. Maybe I should be looking at other forms of income, which I keep saying I’m going to do but keep not doing.

I’m starting to see how complacent I have become in my life. There are a ton of things in it that I want to be different from what they are, but I keep not doing anything about it. I’m not sure if I just got too overwhelmed by…well, everything…or what exactly has gotten me to this point, but its way past time for me to do something about it. What that looks like, I’m not sure, at the moment, but there is definitely some change that has to start happening or the slide back into the financial and emotional abyss is certain to happen. I’m not ok with that.

I’ve said to quite a few people who know completely what my situation is that it is really hard to hold on to hope this way. Hope is something I think one must fight to hold on to with their whole soul. Without it, what else is there? Hope is what gives you the ability to do things, I think, to make positive changes, improve one’s life, a necessary key to finding enjoyment in one’s life. Without hope, I think one is just waiting for this all to be over with, and that is not living but waiting to die, in my opinion.

So, today, I’m going to find what it is that provides me with the seeds of hope, what brings me around to center, again, and ignites my creative mind. I’ve learned over the years that creativity is a necessity for me. I become pretty set in depression without it, and stop finding anything that brings enjoyment to me. It’s all just plowing through to the next day, the next challenge. Having this knowledge at least gives me some direction.

I know I put money in front of a lot of things I want to get into doing. Money has been such a focus for us over the last 7 or so years, that I have put it in use as a deciding factor for a lot of things. I’m not saying this is such a bad thing, but I think I have taken it to a really bad level, used it to keep me from moving forward in too many areas of my life that I believe I would have already plunged head deep into.

I’ve, also, stopped really checking in with myself. With all of the challenges that come rushing in at random intervals, sometimes one right after the other, I have de-prioritized myself. Not good. How am I supposed to take on these challenges to the best of my ability if I’m not even sure my best can show up? Ugh. Yeah, I’m seeing a whole lot of things that I just haven’t been doing the right way. Now, to change that. I think I will start with listening to Judson Brewer’s TED Talk: ‘ A simple way to break a bad habit.’ Its a start, right?

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About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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