A New Adventure Stirring Ideas…

I start a new adventure today. A friend of mine passed along a job that was offered to her but she is unable to take since she has moved out of the area. The job? Taking care of a couple of dogs, a pit bull mix and a chihuahua mix, for 17 days while their owners are out-of-town. I will be going over a few times a day to feed, exercise, and let them out to potty. Three nights out of the week, I will stay over with the dogs.

I have to say that this is a pretty sweet gig. It pays much better than I had thought it would and its doing something I love to do, anyway – take care of dogs. This is a total win in my book, and it has gotten me thinking about things.

I’ve stated a number of times, many many times, that I am sick of manual labor and really want to find something that I can make at least what I am already making, hopefully more, that isn’t so darn taxing on my body. I know I said I was going to take real estate classes this winter, but, once I gave myself permission to do so, I seem to have lost the level of desire to do so that I had had before. Don’t get me wrong. Real estate is still a passion of sorts, but I no longer feel like getting a real estate license is how I will/need to entertain the passion. I’m not sure what that looks like anymore so it will have to just sit on the back burner for now.

This pet sitting gig has made me wonder if maybe this would be a really good avenue for me to pursue in order to get out of what I am doing. I’ve started researching this type of business and what is involved in starting and running a pet sitting business of my own, if even only part-time. It’s good money, the requirements for starting are minimal, and running the business doesn’t seem like much more work than what I am already doing, only less body damaging. It’s something to think about. We shall see how this goes over the next 17 days.

I had been thinking that sitting for these two adorable, sweet dogs would be the first time I would have done any pet sitting, but that isn’t true. I hadn’t thought about the times I had taken care of my friend’s farm when she was out-of-town, or the time I stayed at her house with her two dogs. I hadn’t thought of it as pet sitting, but more just doing something for a friend. Yes, I got paid for it, but…well, I don’t know. It just seemed more like doing something to help out a friend that has done so very much for me…a mutually beneficial favor sort of thing.

Anyway, that’s my new adventure. It definitely is giving me some things to think about in regard to potential future endeavors. As for now, I need to get myself ready to go clean the two bedroom, one bath unit I have scheduled for today. Have a great day, Everyone!!

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Lance is Home, Progress (sort of) with the Van…

Lance is home!! His trip went really well and his teeth look amazing. Lance got to do some hiking around the Bullhead City area while he was in Arizona, something I know he really enjoyed being able to do. The little dog (Achilles) got to do a lot of walking around, which means tons of exercise for this super high energy dog. I’m happy they are both home.

Re-introducing the dogs was a bit tense in the beginning and we are still working on all the finer points of it that come along with RV life (extreme close quarters). Enzo, of course, is defending his “That’s MY mom (toy, space, whatever)” status, but, for the most part, is doing fairly well with things. Achilles, on the other hand, has gotten to be an only dog for the last two months so is having a little bit harder time adjusting to having to share space, toys, people. I’m sure we will be back into our old groove with them soon enough. Thankfully, Lance can be home with them while we go through this transition. I, on the other hand, am a busy, busy girl.

I said in my last post that work had pretty much dried up. It had, and I’ve got the feeling that this rush of work is a temporary thing, with the hopes that I am wrong and the well hasn’t completely dried up until Spring. This back and forth with income is quite frustrating – one check leaving me wonder how we are going to eat, the next looking really great but not leaving much to it at all by the time I catch up with bills. Now that Lance is home, he can find a job and that will definitely help even things out a bit, or at least make them not quite as financially stressful.

SO, since the Taurus quit on me, I have been driving the van. It still sputters a bunch, but not quite as badly as it was when we brought it home. I have replaced the spark plugs, plug wires, throttle position sensor, removed the EGR valve and cleaned the gunk that can collect behind it, which can be a contributing factor to the sputtering, did an oil change since the oil was smelling like gas, did a compression test (it passed), and took the van to Midas so they could fix a leak that occurred when they replace the catalytic converter (the people I bought it from had replaced the catalytic converter at Midas. I have the receipt). I am certain that at least one of the intake valves are blown, which means it’s going to need a valve job, soon. I have never done a valve job and after reading the manual, it seems a bit daunting. I’m not sure I’m comfortable doing that one on my own, but I’ll do some pricing, talk with a few friends and decide how to proceed from there. I’m going to replace the throttle position sensor, again, since I cracked it when I put it in (over tightened a bolt. Damnit!).

The van had been getting a little bit better with each thing I did, but, after I changed the plugs and did the oil change, it is running worse, again. Not as bad as it was when we brought it home, but worse than I had gotten it to. It’s becoming a bit frustrating, but, at least I am still capable of getting to work when it comes up. Extremely grateful for that. If I hadn’t picked up the van, knowing I had to do some work to it, when the Taurus gave up, I would have been dead in the water without a way of getting out of it.

Well, I had better get myself put together. I have a clean today. Have a great day, Everyone!!

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Chaos is Stirring…

I can hardly believe that it has been two weeks since I last posted on here. It’s been hectic and I really tend to lose time when it gets that way. I should write more during these times since it seems to give me a center to use as a touchstone, but, unfortunately, I have not been utilizing that. I just haven’t felt like I have the time and most of what probably would have fallen out of my head would have been vile stuff.

Anyway, as you can tell, chaos has stopped by for another visit. It’s been especially toxic this time, or maybe that’s just me. It has felt like one thing after the other is falling apart and the temporary foundation I had started to build for my house of cards is crumbling. It’s disappointing.

Work has pretty much dried up. Thank goodness for the condo common area cleans or I would have no income at all right now. I’m really worried how I am going to make it through this without it completely knocking down all the progress I’ve been making. My fingers are crossed and The Committee is in a tizzy trying to come up with a viable game plan.

My car stranded me yesterday. The starter and the alternator went out on it. It currently is sitting in the O’Reilly’s parking lot. I have no way of towing it home that won’t cost me money, which I don’t have, so I have thrown it on Craigslist with the hopes that I can sell it quick. At least then I would have a little bit of money to throw into the van. It’s moderately driveable, but I definitely wouldn’t try to go any distances with it. Thankfully, the condo buildings aren’t too far, though there are some hills along the way that I’m pretty sure the van is not going to make it up. I’m still trying to map out a non-hilly way to get there.

SO, Trump won the election. I have to admit that this just really sounds like a horrible outcome but I guess we shall see how well a bigoted, misogynistic, self-center ego-maniac does as a US President. History has shown that having this type of person in a position of power doesn’t usually turn out well, but maybe this time will be different. I have to say, though, that, as someone on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale, I’m a bit concerned how all this will turn out. People on my end are usually the ones that lose the most in this type of situation. Maybe I’m wrong and that’s just my perception. Again, time will tell.

Well, I had better get going on the van. It’s Wednesday and I still have 9 buildings needing my attention and a son that has to head to class at 11am. Have a great day, Everyone!

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Psychopathic World…

My heart is heavy today. I’m having a hard time accepting what the world has become. It is sooo much different from when I was growing up, which is to be expected, I know, but…well, there is so much that leaves me wondering “how the hell?”

My best friend told me a couple of days ago about yet another report of animal abuse that is circulating around Facebook. This one is about a couple of college girls that were going around adopting puppies and kittens from shelters, severely torturing them to death, and posting what they did on social media. One of the girls is going to do time. The other one is not. The belief is that the one that isn’t going to jail is from a family with money and ‘connections’ and they somehow got her out of it. To say I’m appalled doesn’t even begin to cover it.

How do things like this happen? How did these two girls come to believe that what they were doing was all fun and games? How does one girl get sentenced to jail time and the other doesn’t, regardless of how much money is in her family? This story makes me wonder how two potential female serial killers, psychopaths, find each other, formulate this plan of furious disregard for life, go about executing it, and have the whole thing end up with the death of the poor, innocent, helpless animals and only one of the murders is going to have real consequences for it?

It seems like there are more and more stories like this one cropping up every day. Is there an increase in mental health issues going on or has the scourges of the human race just become more visible due to the internet and social media? I’m not just talking about animal abuse, though that is the one that hurts my heart the most, right along with child abuse, but an overall disconnectedness to the value of life, and not just one’s own life? When/how did hurting, torturing the helpless in the world become something so prevalent? How/why are there kids and young adults that are being raised in such a way that they can come to the belief that these actions are acceptable? Is it a lack of parenting? Or just crappy parenting? Or an unnoticed need for psychological help?

I understand kids/young adults can sometimes get caught up in doing things they truly regret later, things their parents would be shocked and appalled that their child would do or be a part of. What I truly don’t understand is why these young people don’t have some moral warning system that tells them they are running headlong into doing the worst of the worst. Maybe they do and ignore it, something else I don’t understand.

Throughout my life, I have felt like a misplaced item in this world – sort of like finding a polar bear trying to hide in the middle of a flock of flamingoes – it just doesn’t fit right.  I hear these stories of animal abuse and I feel even more like I was not made for this world, and want even less to do with it. It shreds my soul when I hear stories like the one about these two college girls’ actions, or the man who throws a dog off of a cliff, kittens stuffed in a bag and thrown in the road to be run over by some poor, unsuspecting driver, etc. Is this really the type of people we want to be? If not, then how do these types of things seem to keep happening with more and more frequency?

No, I don’t have the solution for this. I wish with my whole soul that I did. I try to find solace in the beautiful souls that find, rescue and rehabilitate animals that have been abused, the ones that help abused children heal from their damages. I debate with myself about closing my Facebook account to lessen the amount of disaster and damage I am exposed to, but it is one of the only ways I keep in contact with my family in other states (I’m horrible at keeping in contact in other ways).

This would never end the violence toward the helpless of the world, just my exposure to it, I know that. And, yes, I do think it is a good thing that people know about it or there would be no way of helping those that have been damaged or are in the middle of being damaged, potentially killed, and there would be no way to come up with solutions or ways to bring this sort of thing to an end, if there is any way. I guess I just feel there are people better suited for this sort of thing than I am. I’m sure it hurts their soul just as much as it hurts mine, but the incredible people who make the difference for these abused souls have something that I don’t that allows them to dive, head first, into the middle of the battle and save these hurt ones, even when all that can be done is to make the pain stop forever. The world needs so much more of this type of soul.

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Over-thinking Instead of Writing…

The weather here has been just icky. Rain, some wind, more rain, dark, gloomy….Fall. This year, I seem to be very seasonally affected. My mood has been less than optimal and I am finding it a bit frustrating – its hard to think straight when gloom and doom are trying to take over. It’s a struggle to find the positives.

I’ve been giving my writing a whole lot of thought, lately. I love to write, but I find that I am dissatisfied with what I have been writing, and with the fact that I have not been writing very much at all. I come up with some ideas in my head, but I can’t seem to write them. I think I haven’t found the courage to write the thoughts that run through my mind.

As I’ve said many times before on here, I really over-think things. When it comes to what I want to write about, whatever that may be, I get lost in the self-edit of things – will this offend anyone, what will people think, am I the only one that thinks these things, am I crazy – and other things. It keeps me from writing. I keep me from writing. I talk myself out of it – “who would want to read that?!?”

I know I have grown tired of writing about my everyday life. It’s boring and sounds a whole lot complaining to me. Besides, I’m in the middle of it and don’t really have the desire to walk through everything twice. Sure, writing about some of the things that happen in my world helps me come to some solutions, clears the clutter so I can see things clearer sometimes, but….well, I’m sick of the goings on in my life so how can I write about them? I think to do so and stop before I can even open my laptop, annoyed with the prospect of my life being my topic. There’s got to be something better to write about. This is where I find myself stumbling around, searching for the words, the ideas. My world consists of very little: I work, I walk and play with the dogs, I pay bills, surf Facebook to escape my life and be a part of someone else’s life for a minute, but that is about it.

I don’t follow the presidential campaigns because, let’s face it, it’s a whole lot of annoying, judging, ridiculous bantering that is separating people is such negative ways. Talking about anything political right now seems like lining oneself up in front of the firing squad with the end result being lost friendships and disconnectedness. No, thank you.

I don’t really pay attention to current events. I don’t know why. I just don’t. Maybe I feel like I have too much on my plate already to load on that helping of current chaos. Besides, there are too many things happening, currently, that leave me feeling heartbroken and appalled. Maybe those are just the things that I am seeing and I should look past those and dig for the nuggets of golden truths that feed the soul and give hope that we are not doomed as a society. That seems like such a warrior mission and this warrior is tired.

On an upside, I found myself interested in Halloween decorations the other day. I haven’t been interested in any holiday decorations for a really long time, now, so it was a bit surprising when I found myself in the Halloween section of Wal-Mart, envisioning different decorations in my yard, around my humble gypsy camp, with a spark of excitement and a slight smile on my face. Perhaps this means that there is a part of me waking back up after going into hiding about 8 years ago when lost everything and started RV life.

One thing I have determined is that I need a vacation from my life. Not a “I’m running away and you’ll never find me” type of vacation, but a reprieve from work, RV life, and responsibilities for a couple of weeks. I have no idea how I would make that happen, but its definitely a need. You know, step out of it, re-gather the internal resources, rest up a bit, then jump back in with fire in one’s soul, again. Or at least feel like I’m not under the pile of muck but on top of it, making progress. Yes, I am well aware that stepping out of it for a minute is not going to change anything, the same crap will be waiting for me right where I left it, but I will feel stronger, more capable of facing the challenge with polished armor and the blade of my sword re-sharpened to a lethal edge instead of this blunt butter knife I feel like I’m wielding now as i attempt to slash my way through the brambles and chaos.

 

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Its Cold, Missing Lance…

Oh my goodness, it’s cold this morning!!! It’s 34 degrees! I’m not ready, though I don’t think I’m ever really ready for it to be cold. NOAA.gov says its supposed to be 32 degrees tonight…brrrr! The sun is out during the days, which is a really nice break from the rain, but oh, how cold it makes it be at night and in the mornings this time of year.

Lance and Achilles have been gone for a month now. We talk pretty much every day, whether it be through text, phone call, or Facebook Messenger video chat. We seem to be running into some reception issues, which makes conversations difficult at best. Its frustrating, to say the least, despite the fact that these forms of communication are unsatisfying in the first place.

I’m a face to face type of person. Sure, I can carry a phone conversation along just fine – my best friend and I talk on the phone every day and that works – but…well, its just not the same with an intimate relationship. I want my husband right here next to me, both of us chatting away about this or that. It has nothing to do with physical contact, though that is always nice. Its a presence thing.

Yeah, I know. When Lance is home, I complain about him some. Ok. Sometimes, a lot. Now that he isn’t here, I miss his presence. I’m also having some issues with him being gone for so long because of some of our history. He has left before, for a few months, and …well, I think that I’m emotionally confused about his absence this time. Part of me wants to be mad at him for being gone. Part of me feels like I should be ‘cleansing’ myself of him in preparation for moving on without him. Then I remind myself that this is temporary, that he hasn’t left me, that he is in Arizona doing something really great for himself, and I love that, but the emotions are still a bit jumbled. I guess I’m just not handling the time apart very well, and I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like I am.

Well, enough whining from me. I had better get myself together for work. Left foot, right foot, right?

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Another Week in Paradise…

I bought myself some books yesterday. Fun books, not learning books. I have been watching too much tv at night and think it would be a really good idea to better utilize that time with something a bit more on the creative side, or at least something that sparks my imagination into life. I grabbed Danielle Steel’s Precious Gifts, Stephen King’s The Dark Half, and Dean Koontz’s Ashley Bell. I should be set for a bit.

Since the first day of Fall, I have stopped watering my gardens. It wasn’t a plan. I just stopped. Apparently, part of me decided, “Ok. It’s Fall, now. Gardening season is over.” My poor roses disagree with this, though. Both rose bushes still have a mess of buds on them and aren’t too happy about me slacking off. Thankfully, it has done a little bit of raining the last couple of days, including today.

I miss the beauty of my gardens, already. The Fall spectacular hasn’t really gotten going, yet. Ok. A little bit. I can see a touch of red on the trees across the street. Perhaps I have been just too busy to stop and notice the changes going on around me. Too busy is such a lame excuse to not notice. It just means that I have been too stuck in my head, focusing too much on what needs to be done or feeling too tired to look outside myself for much.

Too busy is such a lame excuse to not notice surrounding beauties. It just means that I have been too stuck in my head, focusing too much on what needs to be done or feeling too tired to look outside myself for much. Time to remind myself to look up, look outside of me, and find the stuff that makes it all worth it.

I have been super busy – a little bit of side work, cleans that have been…eww and taken a long time to get done, walking the dogs, life in general. I have a two person life set up that I am managing on my own. It’s not a bad thing, it just takes a bit for me to shift gears and get used to it. About the time I get used to it, my husband will surely be back home. Then shifting gears, again.

Lance and my Achilles are having a good time, for the most part, in Arizona. Achilles sounds like a completely different dog than when he is here, which is good. He has some issues here with sharing space. We have known for a long time now that Achilles would have been a happier dog as a single child.It’s not that he is necessarily unhappy, he would have just loved being an only dog and he is getting to be that while he is away. We will see how re-integration to the pack goes when he comes home.

Lance, Achilles, and Lance’s parents went to the Grand Canyon this week. It’s not too far from where Lance’s parents live, about two hours away. I’ve always heard how gorgeous the Grand Canyon is, and I’ve seen photos, but I’ve come to realize that you can’t really appreciate it to its full extent without being there. Someday.

I’m not really sure where Lance is at with his teeth. I think he is waiting for one set, I believe his upper set, to come in from the lab. It might be both sets. After Lance has all of his new teeth, he can come home. I miss him, and my little dog, and am ready for them to be heading this way.

Once I know when they are headed this way, I am going to make sure my schedule is clear for the day they come home and the following few days. I think this is best so we can both be present while the dogs get used to each other, again. Then, again, Lance and Achilles may get home and the dogs will just fall back into place with each other. We shall see. They have never been apart like this so I have no idea what to really expect with the dogs, especially Achilles and Enzo.

Well, I still have my buildings for this week to do, so I had better get my tush moving. I’m really not feeling like cleaning buildings, my body is hurting quite a bit after this week’s work, but it has to be done. I’ll be exhausted when I get home, but at least I’ll know everything was taken care of this week. Then, home to walk and play with the dogs. Then, dinner and fall into bed, hopefully, to read a little before my eyes refuse to stay open. Have a great day, Everyone!!

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The First Day of Fall 2016…

fall-wallpapers-19

A couple of nights ago, I noticed that it is getting dark way sooner than it has been – the lovely coming of Fall. I hadn’t really noticed it getting darker sooner before then. I guess I’ve just been too busy to see, or, perhaps I just didn’t want to see that another Summer has run its course.

Today is the first day of Fall. Though I end up really being discontent with the weather during the less sunny seasons, the beginning has always been something I have looked forward to. Yes, Spring and Summer are my favorites, but there are things to enjoy about Fall and Winter, beauties to be awed by.

Fall, of course, has the beauty of the changing colors of leaves, but there is more. The lighting is a bit different than in Summer (obviously), providing a different visual perspective on the world around you. As the leaves fall from the trees, exposing their tentacle and tendril-like branches, new art is created in front of the sky backdrop. And the skies! Blue is bluer, grays have more depth – even the rain changes to more of a moving partition, creating an atmosphere akin to a comforting isolation.

As the temperatures drop, Fall provides the ability to cocoon in warm, cuddly blankets, the warmth of fuzzy socks, new pictures to be taken with gloves on, and hot tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches after a nice, chilly walk. At least, this is how I feel at the start of Fall, before the cold just becomes too much.

Summer’s beauty is somewhat flashy and bold with flowers blooming everywhere, the trees fully dressed in rich, green leaves. Fall is a bit less flashy, though the changing of leaves from the beauty of Summer to the stunning array of colors of Fall is an amazing spectacle itself. Then Winter comes along with its beauties a bit more subdued, making it necessary to calmly observe what it has to offer. I know I have said that I have come to dislike the snow over the years, but there is a unique beauty in it. The hush it creates is surreal and, for me, at least, somewhat calming with a touch of leftover childhood excitement . That is, until the signs of civilization make their black marker hatch marks all over everything, snarled together like the twigs and branches of a slash pile – not so pretty.

The advent of Fall always brings up memories of the holidays from my early childhood. So many Thanksgivings and/or Christmas’ were celebrated at my Grandma and Grandpa Hite’s house. At least, that is how it comes together in my mind. I loved those gatherings. Everyone was there – aunts, uncles, cousins — EVERYONE.

I had always dreamed of carrying on this tradition with a family of my own, bringing together the different generations in celebration, but this has not happened. I have walked a different path, one that has not been conducive to what I had planned in my head. It saddens me that I am watching a tradition die. I do not believe that there is anyone in my family that has been trying to keep the tradition alive. I know I have not had that kind of Thanksgiving or Christmas since I was little. Granted, my families of origin are spread across the US, so that definitely is a contributing factor, I believe. I miss it, to say the least.

I think that as the comfort of my memories has worn off a bit over the years, being replaced by a sense of loss, is one of the main reasons I have come to dislike Fall and Winter as much as I have. Perhaps the child that still lives inside of me, in my memories, is pouting, heartbroken, disillusioned. I understand that the choices I have made over the course of my life have brought me to here, but this knowledge does not alleviate the feelings of loss.

When my kids were little, I still loved the holidays. There was a new type of excitement added for me because I was trying to give a piece of my childhood to my children. Now that they are grown, it has changed. I think kids really make the holidays because of the complete innocence and level of wonder and awe they still possess. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to being a kid, un-muddled by adult life, still capable of finding so much joy in the simple things.

How does your family celebrate the holidays? What things about fall and/or winter do you love? I’d love to get some feedback on this from all of you out there. Maybe it will help me find more of the beauty and joy of these seasons. If nothing else, I will get to see things from a perspective other than my own, which is something I absolutely love.

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Can I Go Home Now?

Yesterday was not a great day. It was not a horrible day, but it was definitely one I wish I could get a “do-over” on – a day that didn’t feed the soul at all. I made it through and, overall, I don’t believe there was much scarring.

I’ve sort of been in a funk for the past few days. I’m sure it has to do with Lance and Achilles being gone, but my mood and motivation have been less than wonderful. Yesterday morning, my motivation to do much of anything at all was pretty low, and I was grumbly about it a little bit. I hate being in a funk, especially when it doesn’t seem there is much to do about other than just ride it out. It can get to the point where I can’t stand myself.

Anyway, I headed out the door to renew my Costco membership, buy some dog food and paper towels, then go finish my buildings at the condo complex. A simple, relatively easy day planned, right? That was my thought, anyway.

The trip to Costco went just fine. Membership renewed, dog food and paper towels bought and loaded in the car, all is well. Off to go do my buildings.

The cleaning of the buildings went fine, as well. I have some opinions of the people who live in various buildings that are probably best left to myself, but nothing went wrong or was out of the ordinary. I had planned to head to Y to shower after my buildings, but I just wanted to go home, so I started to head that way.

Not too far from the condo complex, as I’m driving done the road, another car coming from the other direction, I see something that looks sort of like a black plastic bag or something streak across the street. It wasn’t until it ran into the tire of the car coming from the other way its body crumpling, then flipping up against the tire, that I realized it was an animal. As I watched the animal, laying on its back, its legs twitching and flailing about, I thought, at first, that it was a possum or something like that. As I drove by it, I realized it was a cat. I turned around. I couldn’t just leave it there suffering.

I pulled into the turn lane, grabbed some cardboard that just happened to be in my car, and a towel, and went to collect the cat. The poor guy was twitching and trying to get up, but I could tell it was quite broken. I carefully slid the cardboard under him, put the towel over him to try to keep him from moving and hurting himself more, and put him in the car. I know where there is a vet relatively close to where we were, so I headed that way. If nothing else, they could end his suffering, and possibly find a microchip so his family could be contacted. Somewhere between getting him in my car and reaching the vet, the little cat died.

I rushed into the vet, told them I had just seen him get hit, thought he had died in the car on the way there, but wanted to at least scan him for a microchip. Their emergency team rapidly collected, checked him for a heartbeat a couple of times, finding none. They then scanned him for a microchip – nothing. Darn. The cremation company they use said they would cremate him for free and spread his ashes over Commencement Bay when they make their monthly ashes run. Slightly defeated, I headed out to my car, more than ready to just go home and be done with this day.  (I had to euthanize one of my cats on Monday, so this added to whole experience. Poor girl’s abdominal region had a number of tumors.)

I get home, start to relax, snuggling in with my Mr. Enzo, when I hear someone, a woman, asking if anyone is home. “What now” was my reaction to this. I went out to find a woman, younger than me, with a little girl on her hip about 1 year or so old. She had stopped across the street to change her daughter’s diaper and her friend had accidentally closed her keys in the truck of the 95 Lexus they were in. The truck button on the car didn’t work so she was wondering if maybe I might have some tools and could help her.

I’m going to be honest here. I didn’t want to help. I don’t know why I felt this way, but it was how I was feeling. I know what it is like to be stuck without anyone to help. I grabbed some tools and we went to see what we could do. I ended up having to dismantle the bracketing behind the back seat back in order to get into the truck at all. This was after trying to knock out the lock (her idea) with not a whole lot of success. Keys were found and retrieved. Her friend then reached through the truck with a metal bar, dismantled the lock from this inside, and popped it open. I collected my tools and went home.

I’m really not sure why helping this woman get her keys out of her trunk bugged me, but it did. Normally, I am more than willing to help someone out in a pinch and feel grateful I was capable of helping afterward, but I was nothing but irritated by it this time. Not good.

Anyway, I spent what was left of the day before dinner hanging out with Luna and Enzo, just trying to stay out of the mix until this day could run itself out. Dinner was made and ate without a hitch. About an hour after dinner, I hear a strange noise in the trailer. After listening to it for a minute, I realize it is the water pipes making that I’m hearing. The sound is sort of like a hissing. Uh-oh. There is a leak somewhere. Crud.

I run outside to shut the water off and find the leak. The little extension hose I have to hook up the 4-way water outlet to the spigot with broke – water is spraying everywhere. Of course, it’s dark over there, so when I rush in to shut the water off, I face plant a huge spider web. Great. I get the water turned off then check myself for spiders, thankfully finding none.

So, yeah, it was a day. I know it could have all been so much worse, but it really taxed me. My fingers are crossed for today to be a much better day than yesterday. Wish me luck!

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Lance is Off to Arizona, Freestar Update…

 

Tomorrow, my husband leaves for Arizona for 3-4 weeks. I am going to miss him a lot, and that is compounded by the fact that he is going to be taking Achilles with him. My heart is just heavy. I’ve never been away from my pups, Achilles and Enzo, for any length of time since they were born almost 5 years ago. Separation anxiety? Well, yeah, a bit.

Lance’s parents are buying him new teeth. We both have horrible teeth from running through life with an imaginary invincibility cape that not only blocked a lot of self-care but took away the feeling of passing time,as well. Yes, depression has factored in to the lot, as well. At any rate, they found a dentist down by them that doesn’t charge as much as a rehab house to give him new teeth.

I’m super excited for him, and to see his new teeth when he gets home, but I have to admit that I am a bit jealous. I guess that is something that I am just going to have to make a plan for, which I had planned on figuring out for the both of us, anyway. I’ll figure it out, eventually. The fact that at least one of us is getting teeth is really great and I’m so happy for my husband.

Now, about Lance taking Achilles with him. I am anxious about it for so many different reasons. One of those reasons happens to be that he is going to drive down so that he has a way to get out and do things while he is there and he wants to stop by to visit one of his sisters. She lives in Ashland, OR, so it’s basically on the way down. I get his desire to do so and I guess maybe I’m a bit jealous over this point, as well. I’d love to go drive around the US and visit with my family. Thankfully, for him, his family isn’t too far away to get to.

Lance driving down causes me some anxiety for a number of reasons, the biggest being the car he is driving down. I’m not sure I trust it for that kind of drive. He is certain it will be just fine and I should be good with that since he is the one that drives the car so, hypothetically, knows how it’s doing, but it doesn’t lessen my anxiety at all. He’s driving a 98 Saturn SL-1 that burns oil and has a couple of other things going on with it. My fingers are going to be crossed to the point of hurting until I know he has made it to his parents’ house.

Another thing that causes me anxiety about Lance taking Achilles with him is that my Mr. Achilles is a nervous Nelly, super not sure of people he doesn’t know and unknown situations. He is going to need a lot of extra attention paid to how he is reacting to all of the new things and people he is going to encounter on this trip and Lance just isn’t as observant as I am. Lance also tends to be a bit more aggressive in his corrections than I am, or that I am comfortable with. I have determined that Achilles does so much better with positive reinforcement and gentle guidance rather than strict enforcement and corrections.

Maybe I am just freaking out because it will all be out of my control. I’m willing to admit that this is probably half of the reason its causing me angst. I’m in charge of pretty much everything around here, something Lance has willingly allowed me to do. I’m not saying it is necessarily a bad thing, completely, but it may not be such a great thing, either. I guess I am just going to have to figure out how to let go on this one. Maybe it will teach me to let go on a bunch of other things that don’t necessarily need me to death grip them.

I haven’t been working on the van over the past week. Funding is at the low end as we approach my next pay day so I’m holding off. My next steps, as I mentioned in my post about the van, are to check out the fuel injectors and replace the intake manifold gasket. Since one or both (probably both) are more than likely going to need parts to complete, I don’t want to open up the engine (remove the intake manifold) and leave it open until I have everything to close it back up, again – no moisture or dust getting inside the engine.

If the fuel injectors and the intake manifold don’t fix the problem, my guess is that I’m going to have to look into having the catalytic converter replaced. This is most definitely beyond my abilities so I’ll be pricing that out. I don’t weld nor do I have any desire to learn how to. I’m just hoping that cleaning the fuel injectors, replacing their o-rings, and replacing the intake manifold gasket fix the issue. Wish me luck!!

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