2:22 in the morning

I should be sleeping soundly, dreaming of whatever, but, instead, I am awake. My back woke me up about an hour or so ago and I just haven’t been able to get back to sleep. After lying in bed resting on the precipice of sleep that I can not seem to attain, again, I decided I needed to get up and do something, anything, to try to nudge me back into that sleep zone.

I considered just getting dressed, hopping in the Prius and driving for Uber, but I’m not sure I’m really done with sleep, yet. The downside to not being done with sleep, yet, is the fact that I have the alarm set for an hour and a half from now to get up to go drive. Staying awake at this point seems like the best, possibly only, option that makes sense. If I could get just one more hour in…sigh.

There has been a lot going on, lately. At least, is seems like a lot to me, though that probably has more to do with still not being fully seated in my new schedule. Lance has been doing some remodel work for a friend of his that own a remodel business. It doesn’t sound like anything long-term, steady, but the unplanned for money coming is nice. Cleans haven’t exactly picked up for the year, yet, so things are still super tight and the ‘extra’ income makes that just a bit less stressful.

Half the garden, weeded, and bulbs/roots planted

Half the garden, weeded, and bulbs/roots planted

I took some time to get my bulbs planted this past week. I’m so looking forward to seeing this half of the garden in bloom later this Spring/Summer. It’s going to be so pretty! I dug up and re-arranged the Blazing Stars and Gladiolus, mixing in the Dahlias, Tree Lilies, and Sea Holly with the Echinacea, Alcazar, Calla Lilies, and Rosemary.

Just about ready to plant!!

Just about ready to plant!!

I had to take the lid off of one of my mini greenhouses. The sunflowers have reached the lid already! I’m going to have to get the second half of the garden bed ready so I can start to transplant these guys soon. I have them sitting under a table to protect them from any potential frost but can still get adequate lighting. It’s funny to see these little inch, inch and a half, seedlings leaning toward the sun as it moves around them.

The other three mini greenhouse tubs are coming along nicely. Well, two of them are. One of them isn’t showing much life at all, but I think that could be because of the type of seeds they are (lavender, Delphinium) and the fact that we haven’t really had very much warm weather, or, at least, not warm enough for them. I guess I will see as the season progresses.

One of the seeds that has sprouted that really surprised me is the Pumpkins. Yes, Pumpkins! I have four Pumpkin sprouts out of 10 planted. I, of course, am not giving up on the other six since these four were quite unexpected. I didn’t think about it when I planted them, but I put them in with the Borage seeds (which I collected from my Borage last year), and Borage is just more than willing to grow. When it comes time to transplant the Borage, I am going to have to be careful about it since the other things I planted with it (Pumpkins, as I mentioned, and Watermelon and Painted Daisies) more than likely are not going to be ready for be moved, yet. I should have planned better. Anyway, I’ll have to replace the empty space left by transplanting the Borage out of the mini greenhouse with some more dirt and hope I don’t disturb the other seedlings too much.

I planted some more seeds, yesterday. These aren’t in mini greenhouses. I just don’t have the funding at the moment to go pick up more clear tubs, but I had the time to plant some seeds, so I just cut out one side on two top soil bags, mixed in some corn starch, and sowed some Canterbury Bells in one and some Lupine and Bachelor Buttons in the other, then watered them with some organic seed starting liquid mixed in the water. I’ve never tried corn starch in my gardening before but decided I’d give it a go. I’ll let you know if I notice a difference. Yep. Spring is here.

As wonderful as Spring is, it can often mean some challenging times with my bipolar. Each year seems to bring its own flavor to the table. Some years, it’s manic at its finest…super happy, super excited, loving life, just about skipping (ok. sometimes skipping), with the downside of sleeplessness resulting in little or no real sleep. Other years, its manic at its worst…easily upset, depressed, moody, angry, unable to get out of bed, delusions and horrible confabulations. I know that doesn’t sound very manic, but, after many years of counseling and talking with others about how bipolar affects them at different times, I’ve come to realize that these second set of attributes can actually be part of a mania. Weird, huh?

Anyway, this year, I seem to be rapid cycling: up and happy and all good with the world one moment, completely discontent with all that is, has been, or ever could be the next. Fortunately, so far, the good seems to be winning out, if only barely at times. Gardening, many times, has been my refuge from the darker side of bipolar in Spring. This year, I’m finding that it does not seem to be as successful as a plan of action as it used to be. Usually, I can be in a icky mood, go do some gardening and walk away feeling so much better. This year, I am pleased with the progress made and what the picture I have formed in my head of what the outcome will be looks like, but the sludge is still there. Perhaps once the rains have lessened a bit more and the sun shows up more consistently I’ll be more capable of finding that happy place in my gardens, again.

Well, I’ve let go of the idea of more sleep at this point. I guess its time to go get myself put together to go drive. Have a great day, Everyone!!



About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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