Really Scared…

I’m really scared. I know I need to find a different job, a different type of job, something not including manual labor, something that I’m not on my feet all day for, but I have no idea what that looks like, nor do I have the skills/knowledge for whatever that is. We went and did the clean we have in Woodinville every month, yesterday, not through my employer. It took 6 hours, our best time, yet, and I am hurting so bad today, I can hardly move.

I thought I would start applying at other places to find work. What comes to mind first is places like Costco, Petco, PetSmart, vet clinics, but, after looking into each of these, I am realizing these all leave me on my feet and/or require some form of manual labor. As things progress with my spine, and as I’m healing from the accident, these will not work. I don’t know what to do. Right now, I am wishing I was a much better writer. At least then I would have an available, known option and wouldn’t be heading toward panic about this.

I know the doctor said it could be a couple of years before I start needing physical therapy for my back, but the accident has made everything hurt. I feel like I am getting a preview of what is to come in the not so distant future. Researching thoracic and lumbar arthritis didn’t help the way I thought it would, either. If anything, it confirmed a lot of what I was imagining, which is really frustrating. I’m, obviously, still looking for the footing on this one. I’d feel so much better if I could just say “Ok. Instead of this I’ll just do this. No problem.”

I need suggestions. I need pointers. I need ideas. I need help. I need to think and still be able to breathe. Right now, thinking seems to lead to not breathing because I don’t know what to do and I don’t seem to be able to figure it out and I don’t know where to go to get the help I need with this. So, yeah, I’m really scared.