I screwed up yesterday. My allotment of cigarettes was 5-7. I had eight. And what a horrible feeling that was. I don’t like being disappointed in myself and when I realized way too early in the day that I had one cigarette left in my allotment, I was disappointed. I spent most of the rest of the day obsessing about that last cigarette. When could I have it and not spend too much time going through the wants afterward? I finally came to the realization that this was not failure but part of the process. I have smoked for most of my life. I can not expect to be perfect about quitting right from the get. I set up the week of daily rationing and decrease in intake because I knew this wasn’t going to be easy and wanted to give myself a little time to adjust. This doesn’t mean I just smoke more than I have allotted myself for the day and give up, or that I don’t pay attention to it, give it some thought, refocus on my goal. I smoked one my them I allotted yesterday and this has caused me to want to be more vigilant in staying within the parameters I have set for myself.
So, today is a new day. I am allowing myself 5-7 cigarettes today, with the goal for today being to not reach that 7. I’m going to pick up some cinnamon gum. Cinnamon is supposed to help with nicotine cravings. Wish me luck!! I’m keeping the goal in sight today. 😉