Well, tomorrow’s the day. I started taking stock of how the last week has gone with the slow progression of decreasing the amount of cigarettes I smoke. It has definitely been a bit of a roller coaster. I’ve gone back and forth in my thought processes, my belief that I can do this. Every time I have run into doubt, I have done my best to tell myself, repeatedly, that I can do this. I’ll make it.
Observing my nicotine level withdrawals has been quite the experience, as well. I think one thing that this week may have given me is the ability to be able to monitor my feelings, mentally and physically, without complete abstinence. I think this may be useful in getting through the next week, as I go through complete nicotine withdrawal…we shall see. I’m being hopeful.
I had 5 cigarettes, yesterday. Three would have been better, but is not how it went. At one point yesterday, I let go of monitoring my smoking and found that I quickly fell back into the old smoking habit. I had three cigarettes about an hour apart. Ok. Not a full three cigarettes. About 3 or 4 puffs into the third cigarette, I realized I had been smoking just because and put it out, asking myself why I was smoking when I didn’t really want it. Stupid mental habit is the only reason I could come up with. Honestly, I think this may be more difficult to change than going through the withdrawals will be. Withdrawals are straight forward. Mental habit is much more sneaky, and more demanding, I think.
I’m excited about tomorrow. It is the first day on the path to remaining nicotine free. Yes, I still have some anxiety over it, but I am feeling even more confident in my ability to do this. I’m really excited to get through the withdrawals, both physical and mental, and become a full-fledged non-smoker. Yeah, it makes me smile to think about it. Let’s do this thing!!