So my attempting to get more sleep experiment failed. I stayed up until 2:38 (2:45 actually) then crawled into bed confident this was going to do the trick. Then 5am showed up. Ugh. Yesterday was a long one. I’m feeling like I slept well last night, though, but I am unsure of how long I slept. I was up at 3am. I’ll have to ask Lance what time we went to bed last night in order to know how long I slept. He’s still in bed (so jealous) so that will have to wait.
Perhaps I am trying to fix something that doesn’t need fixing. Maybe this is just my new sleep cycle, regardless of reason, and I’m in the adjustment period. This sort of makes sense to me. My sleeping patterns before shortened sleep cycles kicked in were pretty normal with a bit of extra sleep thrown in whenever possible. It would only make sense that it would take some time for my body and mind to adjust to this lesser sleep model.
Maybe it’s not a lesser sleep model. Maybe its an improved sleep model with a long training period. Yep. Still trying to make sense of it all. Maybe its just time to accept it and plan accordingly. It’s definitely giving me more time to sit down in front of this screen to write, which is a good thing, I think.
I’m thinking I need to slip in a nap midday somehow. That makes it hard to find work that I have to go to. I’ve been looking into the whole remote working thing, which completely sounds right up my alley, I think. Stay at home. Flexible schedule. Make money to stay alive. I’m loving the sound of that.
Sure, there is the whole discipline thing that one must have to be successful with remote working/being a digital nomad, but I have never been one that couldn’t discipline themselves to get the job done so I don’t see that being a problem. My biggest obstacle is getting started, which is what I’ve been researching for the last month or so. I’m sure the info is in there somewhere, I just haven’t learned now to recognize it.
There’s also the whole getting in my own way thing. Ok. It’s an anxiety thing. A feeling like an impostor thing. Fine! It’s a self-esteem thing. Am I good enough? Smart enough? Can I make this happen and bring in some money? Am I chasing something I do not have the skills or ability to do successfully, even adequately? I don’t know but I’m going to give it a go and see what happens, if I can get past the whole first few contacts anxiety and actually apply to some. Ok I have applied to a couple but I really had no expectation of anything coming from them. I really don’t know what I’m doing, yet, in this brand new (to me) arena but I’ve got my armor on.