Trudging Through Limbo…

Preparations for the move continue on, though we still don’t have a move by date. As much as I hate being in limbo on pretty much anything, I have to admit not being given a date, yet, in some ways, almost feels like a relief. There is the feeling that the urgency may have gone away, as in the county is too busy with a whole lot of things to keep on top of this one. Still, I labor on with the chore of getting us prepared to move.

One of my fundraisers finally received a donation (Thanks, E!)!! $25 but that is a start and way better than $0. As I said before, we only need 500 people to be willing to part with $20 each to reach our goal. Now, 499 people. I also received a donation to our cause from a close friend through the mail. 498 people.

The work Lance had been doing for his brother has pretty much dried up. His brother has left the country on vacation, so if there is work he is wanting to be done, that is all on hold. No problem. Lance found a job the day before yesterday, making the same money, that should last a couple of months. YAY!

Lance had also talked with a guy about selling solar. This would be somewhat of a dream job for Lance since he is so interested in alternative energies. I am, too, but nowhere near the extent that Lance is. The guy has had to reschedule getting together with Lance until sometime next week. It sounds like getting that rolling could take a minute, possibly be a bit slow going at first, so it is good that Lance has found this other job for a couple of months. I think the couple of months job doing some remodeling will help provide some much-needed stress relief and allow Lance to still be making some money will getting the solar panel sales going. I don’t have all the details about the solar sales, yet, since Lance and this guy (William, I think) have not had a chance to sit down together and talk specific details. At this point, it sounds like something that could really work out great for Lance, for us, and allow Lance to do something that isn’t hurting him physically every day. My fingers are crossed on the solar sales job.

I found a job yesterday. Actually, the day before, but I didn’t actually GET the job until yesterday. It’s cleaning, of course, but for someone different from before and local. It sounds like this is going to be more of a residential type cleaning gig than move-out, with move-out cleans to be filtered in. I’m not super happy about pay, but it’s not too horrible either. The big bonuses? All cleaning supplies are provided along with a van to drive to cleans. Those two things alone make the pay a lot easier to swallow. I am doing my first clean for this company with another team member today. So, we have two incomes, again. Whew.

I’ve been isolating a lot. Yes, there is the move stuff that has me pretty pre-occupied, stuck at home, but that usually doesn’t keep me from chatting with my best friend every day. I haven’t been even doing that. My phone rings and just the sound of it ringing is annoying. “Who is bugging me now?” is usually the thought. I really have no desire to communicate with anyone much at all. A whole lot of me knows that this is partially all part of the move stress, but it feels like so much more than that.

My depression is in full swing, leaving me stuck in the humdrum and numb state which drives me crazy. I made an appointment to get on an antidepressant but the soonest they could get me in is October 19th. That seems like an insanely long time to have to wait to get on an antidepressant. I have decided if it gets too much, I will go sit in the waiting room at the MultiCare clinic until they can see me. Until then, white knuckling it. Breathe in, breathe out.

I finally have a deposition date for the moving truck accident over two years ago: October 17th. Though I’m happy to finally have this moving forward, I can’t say that I see the moving company actually paying in the end. They have proven to have very little integrity so far. I hope I’m wrong, though. At any rate, closer to the end of this.

I can’t remember if I mentioned that Lance and I have started practicing Holotropic Breathwork. Lance’s brother, Travis, has been hosting them in the yurt Lance helped him build. Lance had mentioned one of the gatherings Travis was having and it was clear that he wanted to go but wanted me to go, as well. I had made myself take a ‘putting it all down’ weekend right before this so I decided ‘why not?’ It turned out pretty amazing. We have since gone up to do the breathwork two more times. I have, of course, researched the topic to no end.

The breathwork has opened up…a pathway of sorts. A lot of things I have held in belief of myself, or of life, people, things have come up for review or just plain presented themselves then immediately dissipated, as in no longer there. It also has made it really difficult to get out of my head. Ok. That’s probably just a coincidence, mostly. I know slipping into meditation is a whole lot easier and quicker than it used to be, and I seem to be letting go of a whole lot of the clutter up there. This does not mean I have clearer thoughts these days, just less issued thought, perhaps. Whatever, I am definitely interested in doing a lot more breathwork, at different venues hosted by other people, as well. If you don’t know what Holotropic Breathwork is, here is a link for more information: Holotropic Breathwork.

Well, I have things to do before my clean today. Have a great day, Everyone!


About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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