The Camry is Home, What is My Purpose?

The Camry is home. My brother-in-law came down yesterday to help us out. We got the Camry out of impound and I drove it home, making it here without incident. Strange car.

I tried to replicate the driving I did on the night that both cars broke down. I had been on the freeway and, since the wheel bearing hadn’t actually locked up, I headed home yesterday in the Camry on the freeway. Lance’s brother followed in case anything went wrong. I really thought it would but nothing. Odd.

Once we were back home, Lance and I went to work jacking up the car and removing each tire to do a look-see and feel. I was pretty sure it was one of the back wheel bearings, most likely the passenger side one, but I’m not so sure now. None of the bearings are seeming like there is an issue or need to replace.

On the way back home with the Camry, Lance and I stopped at O’Reilly’s to grab brakes for the car. I had wanted to do the brakes before it had broken down. Coming to a stop just seemed to take longer than it should. My thought, yesterday, was that we would be removing each tire to inspect and attempt to diagnose which wheel bearing was bad, I might as well have the brakes handy so I could just change them while I already had the wheel off. No sense in having to jack the car up and remove the same tire twice, right?

So, the front brakes are just fine. In fact, they look great. This is good. I can take the front brakes back to O’Reilly’s. The back brakes…well, I’m thinking they are probably going to have to be replaced. I’m not sure, yet, though, since I am unable to get the drum off the rear passenger brake. I’ve sprayed penetrating lubricant, hit with a hammer next to and between each lug bolt and around the edges of the drum…nothing. Upon closer inspection of the drum and lug bolts, I don’t think the drum that is on there is the right one. The lug bolts seem to be pressed against the edge of the holes in the drum in such a way that there is no way to get movement. I think the drum may have been knocked on by whoever last worked on that brake. Bummer. If it’s that hard to get on, it’s not the right drum.

I’m going to have to do some more inspecting and attempting with this drum to be sure, but I think I may end up having to cut the lug bolts and drill them out in order to get the brake apart. This really sucks because it means I am going to have to replace that whole hub. Upside: I can probably pick one up at Pick n Pull for about $20, though I am really hoping I don’t have to go that route. At least I have that as an option.

I’ve started preparing to work on the Freestar, again. We are in desperate times so I am trying to utilize all of the available options that I know of. I charged the battery for it since that was dead. Once I get the Camry dealt with, I will have Lance follow me up to O’Reilly’s so they can test the charging system. I think the alternator may have a short in it, which is draining the battery when the van is just sitting and may be a contributing factor to the acceleration hesitation problem. If it needs the alternator, then I’ll need to come up with a game plan for that. I would also like to drop the gas tank on the van to inspect the fuel pump connections. If the negative isn’t properly grounded, it could be what is causing the hesitation. After those two things are dealt with, if the problem still exists, I will be throwing a for sale sign on it. I have enough to contend with at the moment and a cantankerous van is not going to be kept in the mix. Sell it and apply the money to something else to attempt to get us moving forward, again.

I had called into work yesterday to let them know it was going to take a few days to get a vehicle up and going. I let my trainer know that I understood that this meant I was no longer a part of the training. He said to let him talk with my supervisor and see if there was a way to have them recycle me into a different training class. My trainer told me that they didn’t want to lose me, I have been an asset to have in class. This made me feel so good and gave me such hope. Last evening, my supervisor called to let me know that they were not going to be able to recycle me into another training class.

If troubles happen in 3’s, then I think I have reached the 3 in this lot: Lance’s car breaks down – needs timing belt/chain, my car breaks down – may need bearing/definitely needs something with the rear brakes rebuilt, and the believed loss of my job, being given hope it may not be lost, finding out I definitely no longer have a job, along with the loss of Lance’s job. That sounds more like four, so we should be covered for a bit. I guess we shall see. Hopefully, this doesn’t mean we are back to backing two sets of terrible threes. Please don’t let it mean that.

I’m feeling really defeated, right now. I am fighting with the feeling that it makes no sense to work on any of the vehicles, I should just sell them, f*** it all, but I can’t just lay down and give up. I have to admit that there is a part of me that wants to, that’s just so tired of fighting, struggling, juggling, and figuring out only to end up right back where I started, again. It is said that when you are in the flow of your purpose, the Universe will conspire to work for you. I quite apparently have not gotten into that flow, ever, because it feels as if the Universe is constantly conspiring to knock me on my butt whenever I feel like I am starting to get it together.

I do not know what my purpose is. I apparently have no clue what my purpose is supposed to be. Cleaning? Struggling? Dogs? Writing? Photography? Homeless? Though the depression is severe and it really is feeling like my being here on Earth is a HUGE mistake on someone’s part, though I have no idea what to do from here, I’m going to have to figure something out. Why? Right now, I have no idea. No idea at all.


About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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