Its Cold, Missing Lance…

Oh my goodness, it’s cold this morning!!! It’s 34 degrees! I’m not ready, though I don’t think I’m ever really ready for it to be cold. NOAA.gov says its supposed to be 32 degrees tonight…brrrr! The sun is out during the days, which is a really nice break from the rain, but oh, how cold it makes it be at night and in the mornings this time of year.

Lance and Achilles have been gone for a month now. We talk pretty much every day, whether it be through text, phone call, or Facebook Messenger video chat. We seem to be running into some reception issues, which makes conversations difficult at best. Its frustrating, to say the least, despite the fact that these forms of communication are unsatisfying in the first place.

I’m a face to face type of person. Sure, I can carry a phone conversation along just fine – my best friend and I talk on the phone every day and that works – but…well, its just not the same with an intimate relationship. I want my husband right here next to me, both of us chatting away about this or that. It has nothing to do with physical contact, though that is always nice. Its a presence thing.

Yeah, I know. When Lance is home, I complain about him some. Ok. Sometimes, a lot. Now that he isn’t here, I miss his presence. I’m also having some issues with him being gone for so long because of some of our history. He has left before, for a few months, and …well, I think that I’m emotionally confused about his absence this time. Part of me wants to be mad at him for being gone. Part of me feels like I should be ‘cleansing’ myself of him in preparation for moving on without him. Then I remind myself that this is temporary, that he hasn’t left me, that he is in Arizona doing something really great for himself, and I love that, but the emotions are still a bit jumbled. I guess I’m just not handling the time apart very well, and I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like I am.

Well, enough whining from me. I had better get myself together for work. Left foot, right foot, right?

About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
This entry was posted in Left foot, right foot, repeat and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Go ahead...I'm listening

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s