One Year Later…


So, its been one year since I sent my beautiful Tru-dog over the rainbow bridge, and I have to admit that I miss him so much more than I thought I would a year later. There are days when I just want to throw a big temper tantrum, screaming “I want my dog back!” That dog really was my rock and I’m still a bit lost without him. I really did not expect it to hurt so much a year later, but it does. I am crying as I write this.

Now, I know many would think that, since I have three other dogs still around me, that the pain of Truman’s absence would be lessened a bit, but it’s not. I love my three dogs, but I do not seem to have the same connection with any of them, despite Enzo making it quite clear that he has decided he is my dog. Tru was a special dog, we had a special bond. There was never a moment of indecision with Truman. He was my dog, period.

I’ve caught myself looking at German Shepherd puppies a few times over the past year. One ad on Craigslist for a female German Shepherd, 6 months old, even popped up when I was looking for a car when I had to return the Prius. Part of me wanted to look at a puppy showing up in a car search as a sign, but I know better. I’ll admit that there were a few minutes of my mind trying to justify spending $600 on that puppy instead of putting that money toward the much-needed vehicle. I have three dogs. My living situation is less than optimal. I do not need to bring home another dog, and I most certainly do not need to be putting $600 toward a fourth dog, no matter how much my heart hurts.

I have spent time working on my connection with Enzo. I’m not saying we don’t have one, it’s just not what Tru and I had. I’m not sure Enzo and I will ever have that type of bond, but he is a goofy dog, pushes everyone out of his way to love on me, sleeps next to me most nights. I guess Truman spoiled me.

I want nothing more than to curl up with my three puppies today, to just be near them, but I have to work today. I could push my schedule back a little but, well, I think it is probably better if I just keep moving forward. Maybe I will light a candle in Tru-dog’s memory tonight.

I really want to have a fire but I haven’t finished sanding and re-spraying my fire pit, yet. I guess I really need to get on that. Fall is coming and I’ll want to be able to burn a few fires then, for sure.

Today, I will hold my memories of my Tru-dog close to me, and trudge through my day. Thank you, again, Tru, for being the best dog in the whole world. I love you and miss you every single day.


About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
This entry was posted in Left foot, right foot, repeat and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Go ahead...I'm listening

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s