Super Cold and Learning More about being Unapologetically Me…

Oh my goodness, its cold this morning!!! Its a whopping 25 degrees! NOAA’s forecast for the week is predicting that the temps at night are going to be more of the same for the week, with the highest low being 35 degrees. The high on Wednesday is forecasted to be 38 degrees, and 40 degrees on Thanksgiving, though  both Wednesday and Thanksgiving are supposed to be partly sunny to sunny. I’ll be layering up this week.

So, I was talking with Lance about Unapologetically You by Steve Maraboli. I was telling him that I wasn’t sure why I had felt so drawn to the book, especially after reading some of it. He picked up the book and opened it, randomly, and read one of the quotes on the page he opened. I don’t remember what the quote said, but it was one that hit us both right where it should have, in my opinion. He put the book down.

Lance started talking about something, building yurts, I believe. I picked up the book and opened it to a random page and let my eyes fall on whatever they may fall on. Again, the quote hit me directly in my soul at a vulnerable spot. Here is the quote:

“Never again will I underestimate the greatness inside of me just because of the hate and limited thinking inside of others” (Maraboli, S., Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience, pg. 117).

I know that I give too much credence to what others say about my abilities, regardless of what area or topic it may concern. I know I shouldn’t, but I am fortunate enough to have some really great people in my life that are quite intelligent, successful in what they do, and I trust their judgements and thoughts on things. Sure, I have my own input, but, in my heart, the words of these people are something I find value in.

Though this can be an invaluable resource for fact finding and bouncing ideas and thoughts off of, it also has the ability to rub up against insecurities I may have. Some of these insecurities, once bumped, can be very loud, and, sometimes, too many times, overwhelming to the point of paralyzing me in that area to the point of complete inaction. Intellectually, I can see the ridiculousness of this, but, emotionally, it still exists, with a life all its own. It can leave me feeling quite powerless, and knowing better doesn’t change that.

I am getting better about it, somewhat, in some areas, but its a work in progress. I have allowed my self esteem to be connected to others for too much of my life. Sometimes, I have to take in what someone else has said, feel what it feels like for an indeterminate amount of time, then let it go enough to see how I really feel about the whole situation. Thankfully, I have learned how to do that, somewhat, with varying degrees of success in making it to the feelings I have about something that are all my own. I need to trust myself better.

So, I guess I have found how I am supposed to read Unapologetically You: random page openings. The back of the book, and I think it was said in the introduction, as well, that the book was designed with random page openings in mind for its use. I, of course, believed that would be best applied after reading the book from beginning to end first. Apparently, that is not how I am to use the book. Got it.

I did about 5 or 6 more random page openings, and each one provided me with another quote or saying that found the damaged vulnerable spots in my soul, and, with each, I felt a shift, a change, as if I had finally heard what I needed to hear to repair the damages to my ever vulnerable, amazing soul. Now, to carry that forward into action so I may stop needing outside validation of my worth. Of course, I am always going to want feedback from the amazing people I mentioned before, but I believe this is going to change the information that I receive from them from being personal to hearing it as invaluable information for helping me come to fully informed decisions. What a gift.

Well, I had better get myself ready for my day. Have a great one, Everyone!!!

About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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