Cold Morning, A Day of Self-Destruct Mode, and Forward Movement Thoughts…

Holy cow, its cold this morning!! Its 34 degrees and frosty on the ground. I had to run the heater all night and woke up to the trailer being 61 degrees. Brrr!

I had a really challenging day, yesterday, internally. I’m not sure what triggered the episode but I was definitely feeling like being self-destructive. Thankfully, I have a great friend that gets it and she helped me walk through the worst of it. I also soothed the feeling with a boston cream donut (my favorite) and chocolate milk.

I’m grateful that I have gotten in the habit of stalking my mind over the years. It makes it so much less damaging to have a day like yesterday. The self-destruct impulses never get to become action because I know what is going on and grab on to someone to talk it out with. One of the things I love about being able to talk with the friend I grabbed onto yesterday is that she gets it so doesn’t go into panic mode or fix it mode, which makes it easier to just vomit out the disastrous thoughts and feelings going through my mind. I’m not feeling as crazy, today, and that is a huge relief, since self-destruct mode can usually last a few days or longer.

I have been thinking about the whole real estate thing. I know I have been given the advice of its extremely difficult to get in to and all of that, but I find that I keep circling back around to it, despite having started talking with schools about earning a Bachelor’s degree in Substance Abuse/Addiction Counseling. Honestly, if a nice car and wardrobe are the biggest challenges I have in front of me being successful in real estate, that doesn’t seem like such a big deal. It would take me a bit to finish the real estate program, which would give me the time to work on the wardrobe and come up with a solid plan for getting a much better vehicle. Though I have no idea how much the settlement from being hit by the moving truck is going to be, it could be enough to put a solid down payment on a nice car, which would solve that part of the equation. So, yes, I am still considering real estate as a career move, though I am still debating between real estate agent and real estate appraiser.

My books come today!!! I can’t wait to start reading tonight. I keep going back and forth between Stephen King’s book and Dean Koontz’s book as the one to start with. I guess I will just have to wait until they are here, read the back cover of the books, since I have no idea the story of either book, and choose from there. Either book is going to be great! YAY!

I’m also considering buying my domain name, taking the wordpress.com off of the address for my blog. I’ve been considering doing this since I started my blog a year and a half ago (yes, its been that long. I can hardly believe it), but haven’t done so because I am unsure of everything that goes along with doing that. I have started to research it and have a little bit better understanding of how it all works, but want to do some more learning before jumping in. Anyone that has done this, please feel free to leave me some advice or how your experience has been with doing so. I’d really appreciate the feedback.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I need to go get dressed and take the dogs for a walk. I have a clean today that will take me a little bit to get through so the earlier I am there, the better.

Have a great day, Everyone!!

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About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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