Painting, Talking with Lance, A Day of Rest…

My wonderful puppies let me sleep in until almost 9 o’clock this morning. I am so grateful for that. After painting all weekend, my back is not feeling so great. It was worse last night but there is definitely improvement after sleeping. I’ve never had my back hurt like it was last night, or this morning if I’m honest, after painting for a couple of days. I have an appointment with the chiropractor this morning, along with massage, which should get me back to good, again.

I do so love to paint. I don’t think I would ever want to go back to painting professionally. I don’t think my back could handle it and I would much rather paint for fun. At least, painting for fun gives me the opportunity to be creative with it. As I was painting, the day before yesterday, I caught myself starting to formulate ideas of what this wall could look like, or that wall. I quickly reminded myself that it wasn’t that kind of paint job. Oh well. It was a good one and I enjoyed doing the work.

The morning of my last post, after I had written the post, and without reading it, Lance came to me and ask me what was causing me anxiety over his stay at his brother’s. I had planned on just putting the topic on the shelf for now instead of adding to the already heightened emotional states of us both, but, since he asked me, I wasn’t going to lie to him about it. I let Lance know that I was anxious because it made me feel like he wasn’t going to be coming home, that he was leaving. Without skipping a beat, he asked me “Why wouldn’t I come home?”

I calmly laid it out for him: the times he has left with the intent of not coming back, the fact that he hasn’t been very happy here for quite some time, regardless of whether or not it has anything to do with me. He started to ask if I had a better idea than going to his brother’s for a little bit and I stopped him. I told him I thought it was a good idea for him to go to his brother’s for a bit, to get out of here, to give us both a chance to quit smoking without making it more difficult for each other, to give himself a chance to work out whatever it is he is needing to work out for himself. We talked for a very little bit but I felt better by the end of it. There were no real decisions made, just an acknowledgement of where we both are at in our minds. It was good, and I am glad that he had taken the initiative by asking me about my feelings.

I’ve taken the day off today. Basically, it just bumps my schedule around just a little bit. I really need the day to let my back and stuffs rest a bit before throwing them back into the normal work day. Plus, it is giving me the chance to adjust a little bit to Lance being gone for a while. I haven’t walked the dogs, today, but I will be throwing the ball for them later and will pick up on their walks tomorrow. I’m just too tired and achy today to be on top of my dog responsibilities.

So, yeah, I’m doing ok today. I’m ok with Lance being gone. The dogs and I have a day of Netflix and napping planned for today. Back to real life tomorrow. Have a great day, Everyone!!


About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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