Well, I finally did it. I made the appointment to take my Tru-dog in for euthanization. We go in at 2:30 on Friday. I cried for about 15 minutes in the parking lot after I stopped and made the appointment. Friday is going to be a tough one.
When the woman behind the desk asked me what time I would like to bring him in, I responded without thinking: “Never.” and started crying. I know I’m doing the right thing for my beloved dog but it sure as hell doesn’t make it any easier. I would keep him until the end of time if it were possible and his quality of life was good. He isn’t absolutely horrible, yet, but I don’t see any point in waiting until he is. That just sounds cruel. He is hurting more than enough.
I’ve often wondered, in just a weird curiosity way, why we do not handle humans this way. I know that we are different from dogs, we have our own ideas and all that, but…well, I think there are quite a few people who wouldn’t mind having the option. I’m just saying. Maybe I’m wrong about that.
One thing I do know is that I’m certain that if an individual wanted this service for themselves, and it were available, they would have to make the arrangements on their own, probably including how they got there and all that. The level of devastation involved in scheduling the appointment for my dog tells me this. Is it wrong that I think I could probably make the appointment for a loved one in human form a lot easier than it was to do so for my dog?
I’m going to do my best to not be completely emotional around Tru-dog today and tomorrow until his appointment. Thankfully, I have the weekend off. All of the best memories of my Tru-dog over the last 9 years have been circling around my head since I made the appointment. He really has been the best dog ever and I am going to miss him endlessly. Truman has really been my true dog.
I opted for the group cremation. I won’t get to take home any of his ashes or anything like that, but what would I do with his ashes anyway? With the group cremation, there is a guy that comes and collects the ashes, then flies over Commencement Bay and releases them. My Tru-dog will be swimming, one of his favorite things. I’m still deciding if I want a ceramic imprint of his paw.
I know I definitely want an imprint of some sort of his paws. I plan on taking them to my tattoo artist to have them put on me. I’m not sure what I’m going to do without my dog.