I am so grateful I have my follow-up appointment today. My back is not better. Ok. It’s not as bad as it was on Friday but I also haven’t been doing much moving around. Have I mentioned I don’t do ‘broken’ well?
Yesterday was another day of not doing a whole lot. I tried to get up and do some things so I wouldn’t be so mindlessly bored and to try to keep my back moving, if only gently. The tenderness is pretty intense. I can’t do much for very long and there is no position I can sit, stand, or lie in that doesn’t quickly become aggravating to my back. This sucks.
I know I have talked about being the best sloth I can be on days off when I have felt way too exhausted from work. Those sloth days have been wonderful when I have been able to enact them, but I have come to realize that there is one requirement that must be met in order for a sloth day to be refreshing. It must be something I have decided from desire to do. Laying around this weekend because of my back has not had the same restorative end result that intentional sloth days tend to have.
Having this back pain right now is a major inconvenience. There are planting areas that need prepping and seedlings that need to get into the ground asap. It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to move forward with my gardening endeavors. Thankfully, Lance has started to clear on of the planting areas for me. At the rate things are going, and the state of finances, the planting area Lance has started to clear for me is probably going to be the main planting area this year.
I have come to realize that I am just not going to have the time to clear the fence line for my sunflowers, gladioli, and calla lilies. Even if I were to come up with the time, for whatever reason, I would need to buy some soil sweetener and some dirt to amend the area since the property has a bunch of acidic evergreen trees that have been dropping their needles for…well, I have no idea how long…since the beginning of time, maybe. The grass grows but a lot of it gets taken up by moss, one indicator of a more acidic than alkaline soil.
Anyway, I was disappointed by my realization, at first. Then, once I had the chance to really wrap my mind around the realistic planting plan, could begin to actually picture my seedlings, bulbs, roots growing there, I came to ‘see’ that it is going to be beautiful planted all together. I also came to the decision that I needed to be grateful for having somewhere to garden at all. It’s amazing how I can get an idea in my head, create the picture, and have a really hard time seeing it any other way because I want what I want, where I want it and how. I have no idea how I got this way.