What Are You Saying, Universe?

I feel like the Universe is trying to tell me something. I’m not sure what, exactly, it is trying to say, but…well, things keep happening, in regard to work, that make me think the Universe is trying to tell me to move on. The biggest problem I have with that is I have no idea what it is I am supposed to do and there are a million and a half different emotions swirling through my head about it.

So, here is what has been going on. There have been scheduling difficulties with work that just seem to be so…unnecessary. I really don’t know how to describe it better than that. Maybe its more just a feeling about it but the end feeling is the same, either way: Something is amiss in the work camp zone. Then I had a few days scheduled off that quickly were filled with jobs that didn’t come through the guy I’ve been working with. This was great. More money, less work, no drama.

Then, yesterday, I wake up and I know I am completely sick. I go to work anyway, because that is how I am. If I can get up, I can go to work. The common area clean at the condo complex is what was scheduled for yesterday (every Monday), and I made it through almost all of the buildings scheduled for this week when it became clear that I needed to go home and crawl in bed. Sick had won the battle.

My daughter had gone to a friend’s house on Thursday for a few days. She was supposed to come home Sunday, but texted me she would be home Monday instead. The reason she gave was kind of bogus, but whatever. After I came home, yesterday, and rested for a bit, I texted her, asking her what her plan was since I hadn’t heard from her and it was already midafternoon. She informs me she is getting a ride down here later to grab some stuff.

The alarm bells rang. Get some stuff? That sounds like she is going back up to her friends, but we have a lot of work scheduled this week. I ask her what she means. She tells me she has an interview with Starbucks on Wednesday. Shock steps in, seeing an opening it may be able to take advantage of. I ask her how that is going to work, since the Starbucks she has an interview at is around 50 miles away from here. Is she planning on moving in with her friend? Her response: Yeah, kinda. All I could say was “Oh. Ok.” Everything else seemed pointless to say.

There are a bunch of things I want to say to her about her leaving without notice but, for the most part, I know they will fall on deaf ears. I did let her know that she is kind of screwing me by leaving without giving me enough time to get things re-organized on this end with work. What else can I say? No, you can’t do that? She is 24 years old. She is going to do whatever she wants to do. Anything else I would have to say will only end up with us arguing and I am just done with arguing with people. It’s just not worth it. I wish her the best of luck and her trailer is here if she needs it. I just won’t have her work with me, again, because she has shown me that I can not rely on her.

Now, I have to figure out work. The challenges that are starting to crop up between work going smoothly and me are becoming too much. I am all to aware that life throws up challenges to forward movement sometimes, and one just has to navigate through them to the best of their abilities, but I think I would rather be facing such challenges with something that would better benefit me in the long run. Something like getting the curb painting business headed toward success. Or starting my own cleaning business. Or…writing a book and getting it published. It just feels like, if I am going to have to fight to keep things moving forward, I might as well be doing that with something I want to do instead of something I am looking at as temporary, like move out cleans.

But, I think I am still reeling from the newest development and need a little more time to process that before any major leaps in a different direction. It seems like the right time to change things if I’m going to, though.

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About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
This entry was posted in Left foot, right foot, repeat and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What Are You Saying, Universe?

  1. Dad says:

    Hang in there. Sometimes things just temporarily go haywire. A little time you will have it figured out and wonder why you were so stressed. I have found that when I overthink a situation that I become stressed because I am concentrating on the problem and not the solution. Love Dad

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Dad! I’m left foot, right footing it, to the best of my ability. I haven’t been happy with this job for a while now and I know this leaves me feeling extra sensitive to the littlest of issues that arise concerning work. There will be no jumping without a plan. Since I no longer have help with my cleans, I know I am going to become quickly overwhelmed with this, which is why Lance first started cleaning with me in the first place. Cleaning alone is also going to drop my income a bit since I won’t be doing as many cleans. The two I have scheduled today with get me home quite late, well after dinner, closer to bedtime. I’m trying to to focus on the problem, its just kind of hard right now with the newest development. Solutions? Well, right now, they look a lot like change to me. Again, no jumps without a plan.
      I love you, Dad!

      Like

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