End of a Year, Shattered Morning, Psychological Twist, and, of course, Audiobooks…

Last day of 2014! When we wake up tomorrow, 2015 will have begun and the new cycle begins. I have to admit, now, that the changing of the year really holds no real excitement for me. Sure, there is part of me that sees this as a new beginning, an opportunity to let go of all of the past year and start fresh. Its sort of like cleaning up the yard and taking the debris to the dump allows you to see the possibilities right in front of you. That part I find exciting, despite it being psychological.

The last few days, I’ve been lazy about writing. The day before yesterday, I got up feeling pretty centered, ready to face my day of going back to work, grateful for the days I had off to refuel. I opened the cupboard below the kitchen sink and began to pull out my espresso machine to make my morning coffee, just recognizing the center I was feeling, half a smile on my face, when the carafe fell all of a foot and a half, shattering into a bazillion pieces on the floor. This may not be such a big deal to most people, and I suppose those people are right, but…well, I had some pride shatter along with the carafe.

You see, the carafe on this espresso machine is something that has always broken quite early on whenever I have had to replace the machine, which last for about a year or so. I’ve had this current machine for just over a year and had managed to not break the carafe. If the machine was starting to fail, as it usually does when it gets to this age, it wouldn’t be such a big deal, but the machine is working perfectly.

I get that the carafe breaking isn’t really such a big deal but, the other morning, I let it be. Part of The Committee wanted to jump on it being a sign of the day to come, though it couldn’t quite put its heart into that thought. The little kid in me wanted to have a full-out temper tantrum but…well, I don’t really have those anymore. Well, ok. Occasionally, and usually only once the frustration and discontent has reached an apex and I need a pressure release. My tantrums are victim free these days. Anyway, the breaking of the carafe was starting to try to take a hold of me and rule the roost for the day, so I ended up heading into work early, coming back later to pick up Lance after he was done with the morning dog walk.

Have you ever had someone say something that makes a small part of your mind stop, trying to figure something out? I’m not talking the mental stop that includes the whole mind but a mental stop of a single portion of the mind as it chews on what was said because it is certain something was there, just not on the surface? I had that happen yesterday. No, it’s not the first time that has happened, it’s just been quite a while since it has. That part of my mind is still dissecting what was said. What was said wasn’t anything bad, necessarily, it just caused this reaction.

In the past, this reaction is usually due to someone slipping in a lie, whether important or not, that my subconscious has picked up on. I don’t think this was the case this time, though. Usually, I can decipher those relatively quickly, no matter how cloaked it may be. It’s some other psychological twisting. I tend to be a pretty straight forward type of person so things said not straight forward leave me feeling…I guess violated in a way. Even the best of things said in this way seem…manipulative. It bugs me and leaves me feeling less comfortable trusting the speaker, whoever they may be. I’ll get over it and I’m sure The Committee will decipher the sentence, I just don’t like feeling this way.

I’ve been listening to Rich Dad’s Guide to Investing by Robert Kiyosaki. Its interesting enough, though I have come to realize that I am listening out-of-order. I should have listened to Cash Flow Quadrant first. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find Cash Flow Quadrant on audiobook. Unless, that is, I want to subscribe to Audible, which I am beginning to think may be necessary but will add a monthly cost of $14.95 to my audiobook learning. Plus, there is the cost for the different audios I would want to download.

While listening yesterday, I came to the realization that I am probably going to want to have the book version of the Rich Dad books. Though I am loving the audio learning version, a book is so much easier to go back and find something in than the recording is. I’ll be comparing pricing to do this through Amazon and Half-Price Books since I’ll be wanting to keep the books for reference. Of course, while looking at prices on Amazon, I run into even more books that I want to listen to, though not all of them have an audio download version. I’ll be scouring the library catalogue, fingers crossed.

I think that is really the only thing I have found to be discouraging about my audiobook education. Not everything is available at the library, which leaves me having to decide if I want to financially invest in this learning, whatever the topic. Until recently, I haven’t found anything that led me to think more closely about it. We shall see.

Well, its 20 degrees out here again this morning. My little fingers are cold. The Kermit the Frog gloves can only do so much. I think its time for me to go in and warm my fingers and self. I have more audiobooks downloading, but I am just going to have to come out and switch the discs as need. I hear my heater calling me.

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About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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