It’s the day after Christmas and I hope everyone had a memorable one filled with love. Yesterday was the best Christmas I have had in years and I am so grateful for it. I had the pleasure of connecting with all four of my parents on the phone and the conversations were amazing gifts in themselves. The only thing that would have made it better is if my brother and I had connected. I need to work on that relationship.
I love my brother but we have never stayed in touch with each other. I don’t know if he suffers from the same inability to keep in touch as I do, but I get the feeling he does, though maybe not as severe as me. I’m not exactly sure why we haven’t kept in touch, at all, really, though I’m sure it stems from my teenage years when I was a source of discontent and chaos.
Over the last couple of years, the lack of connection with my brother has become something I’m not ok with, though I’ve done nothing about it. Sometimes, its hard to initiate a connection with someone. The feelings of guilt at not doing so sooner and making it through the thoughts of all the reasons the person may not want to reconnect, true or not, can make starting the process a bit challenging and riddled with fear of rejection. I’m just going to have to suck it up and do something about it, though. This is my brother. I guess this is something that needs to go on the list of self-improvements for the year, though I’m going to need to get his phone number from one of our parents.
My plans of doing absolutely nothing yesterday didn’t happen, though I’m not complaining. I lazily cleaned the trailer and took everything out of the cupboards, wiped them down, and reorganized them. It is such a weight off my shoulders having accomplished these tasks. They have been bothering me for a bit and having a clean environment helps with head space. I don’t really have any set plans for today, other than I would like to clean out the van. It’s a mess. You can tell we spend too much time in it. I know the cleanliness of the van once it is done won’t last long, but just getting it back to clean and orderly will also help with head space. Sometime over these next three days off, I also want to reorganize the cleaning supplies. I do so much better when everything has its place and is in it.
I keep thinking of these days off. There was a point not very long ago when I believed there was no way I could afford to take 5 days in a row off. Thanks to getting on top of our budget, applying a budgeting plan to help keep the budget in line, these 5 days off are not going to leave us in a bad spot, financially. Gosh! The weights are dropping off of me. I love it!!
I can remember hearing people talking as I was growing up and as an adult about budgets and how important they are and I really had no idea how true that was. Before I started the budgeting plan I am using, I believed you just paid what had to be paid, and if you didn’t have enough to make the rounds, then…well, you just didn’t have enough and things just didn’t get paid. I was a mental banker.
I have a mental list of everything that needs to be paid and when they are due. I’ve always been able to do that. Part of what has made the budgeting plan I have in place work so well is that I have started writing down the list right before each payday. I know what I am going to be paid, to the dollar, so I put that at the top of the list, then I just subtract the amount for each thing that needs to be covered on that check. This allows me to see what is left and form a sort of second budget for that amount. Doing this has allowed me to set up all of the out-going, the liabilities, into the two pay periods so we are not trying to take care of everything with one check, or more with one than the other. I have also been able to actually provide myself with a total for our monthly expenses, should there be a pay period that is particularly bad and I need to shuffle some things around.
Yeah, I’m feeling pretty good about how things are going, financially. I’m grateful for being able to take these days off and not stress the financial impact because there isn’t one. I starting to see that life can be different from how it has been for quite a while. I have hope and that is such a great gift.