Well, my daughter is finally getting to sleep in her 5th wheel. Last night was night three. We aren’t completely done with fixing the different things that need fixing, but enough of it is done that she could no longer wait to be in her own space. I love that about her.
I’m a ‘my own space’ kind of girl, myself. The space I get to call ‘my own’ is where I sit with my laptop and blog. It’s not much and it doesn’t completely embody the whole ‘my space’ idea, but it is better than nothing. You have to take what you have until you can get what you want. I make the best of it.
I’m going through space issues, lately. Living in a travel trailer or rv or 5th wheel doesn’t provide much space. Well, ok. The much newer, way more expensive ones provide a lot more space than our mid-70’s, 20-22 feet long versions that we paid less than $1000 each. In my case, you then have to add another person and four large dogs to the picture. Cramped is putting it mildly.
There have been times over the last almost 6 years that the limited spacing has bothered me but, for the most part, I’ve just accepted the limitations, left foot, right foot, repeat. Its been our situation and a million times better than sleeping under a bridge or something like that, I would imagine. I’ve been grateful just to have a roof over my head and a place to call home base.
I’m still grateful but I want more. This is not a life but an existence. At least, that is how it is feeling. I go to work, I come home to take care of the family I love so dearly, then get up the next day to do it, again. I know that is just kind of life, in general, but…well…there isn’t a whole lot of me time available and that time is way too valuable to not have. In a house, we actually have space to get away from each other.
I know that sounds bad, in a way, but it’s not about not loving my family members. It’s about needing the time to be alone, something I think is important for everyone. There is always someone wanting/needing my attention and I have no place that I can go to take a break from that, to reconnect with me, to refuel.
I’m whining. I also want to blame…someone that isn’t me…for this situation. I know I have my part to own, and I’m more than willing to do that. I just wish I didn’t feel like the only one fighting to make my/our life easier, more comfortable, less cramped, more…normal. RV living has taken its toll, on all of us.
I’d like to apologize to those that read my blog regularly. I know I have not been very upbeat, lately. I’m going through something and I’m trying to work it out or, at the very least, let The Committee process it and come back to me with some ideas for solutions. Bare with me. I’ll get there. Hopefully soon, because I find the negativity that I seem to be stuck in quite annoying. I hate not being able to find the positives and hold on to them, not negate them immediately.