Sometimes, this world is a bit much to take, especially living in a city, where all of life’s dysfunctions show up in hordes. I’ve been seeing a lot of ambulances, fire trucks, and police vehicles with their lights and sound going. Its heart-breaking. I think my daughter is really feeling it, lately, too.
We had gone to Home Depot last night to get a light box for her 5th wheel. A trip to Home D is never just a trip for the items that spurred the voyage in the first place for me and my daughter. We love to walk around and look at area rugs, feel them for comfort level (“could I nap on this” is our gauge), look at tile and plan imaginary projects we could do with tile, matching this tile with that tile and perhaps that accent set as well, doors, windows, appliances, etc. We like to day dream.
After wandering a bit, we purchased the light box and a curtain rod. As we were driving home, an ambulance and fire truck came flying by, lights and siren blaring. In unison, we both said “Uh-oh.” I always hope that, wherever the fire truck(s), ambulance(s), or police vehicle(s) are headed, that everyone ends up ok. I guess I have passed this on to my daughter.
About a minute or two down the road, we saw where the fire truck and ambulance had gone to. My daughter said, “Oh God. They’re right there.” Not really knowing how to reply, I let her know we were actually going to have to go past them. Our turn was about a block after where they were. As we drove past, she said “I hope everyone is going to be ok.” I nodded in agreement, the weight in my heart feeling heavier than normal. Sometimes, these realities are hard to take.
I think seeing such things around this time of year, say October through January, is especially difficult for us. This is the time of year that we have lost so many that we have loved. Its heart-breaking to think of anyone going through a loss or tragedy at all, but during the holidays, when everyone is supposed to be experiencing joy, happiness, love at levels higher than the rest of the year, seeing some of the less than happy realities of this world, of life, seems that more tragic. It can be overwhelming. It always leaves me wishing we didn’t live in/near a large city so as to not see so much of it.
My dream living location is out away from most everything – in the woods, in the country, somewhere where you can drive for miles and not see another soul. Oh! And, of course, it would be warm with extremely mild winters. Sure, I love the conveniences that living in/near a city provides, but there is something to be said for the small towns or remote living situations. I know that all of the regular tragedies of the world aren’t going to go away because they are no longer in my face, everyday, but some distance between me and them would definitely make it a little easier to deal with. Besides, I would have soooo many opportunities to pull out my camera to see what I can see.
I know, I know…there are tons of things that can be photographed right where I am, but I think that I stop seeing them because of all of what I don’t want to see. Or maybe it just I’m too used to seeing whats around me that I have stopped actually seeing it. That thought is depressing in some ways.
Maybe my actual dream location for living isn’t a single location at all. I have been known to day dream about seeing every place in the world with my camera attached to me like an odd appendage. I’m sure there are probably places that I would end up thinking “Why did I think I wanted to see this?,” places of devastation, sickness, but I would hope that I could find the beauty that is found in everything, even in the less than desirable things.
But, as I said, this is a day dream. If I should happen to reach the financial position where this could become a reality…well, let’s just say that I would be earning some severe frequent flyer miles and need a larger cache for posting all the photos I’d be taking. This day dream makes me smile and my soul yearn to be there.