Upset, discontent, frustrated…

I feel so powerless. I am so upset about failing at quitting smoking. Sure, I’m not giving up, but I am so disappointed, and depressed, that I failed to stick to my plan and that, despite how much I really don’t want to smoke, I still am. I’ve never had such a hard time giving something like this up. Giving up the life of un-manageability, drinking, drugs was nowhere near as difficult as this seems to be and I don’t know why. I’ve been fluctuating between being depressed by this and angry that I’m having this difficulty. I want to be done with this. Even more so now that I have failed. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to throw things I’m so frustrated, but that isn’t how I deal with things now. I know I said I was going to try to be gentle with myself over not maintaining my plan but I’m furious. I’m so much stronger than this and I’m being so weak.  I feel defeated and it really sucks that what has defeated me at this point is something as stupid as cigarettes.


About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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6 Responses to Upset, discontent, frustrated…

  1. Dad says:

    Don’t give up. The important thing is you started. Possibly your goal was a little too demanding. You will succeed when you are ready, but only if you do not give up. If you stop trying it is for sure that you will not reach your goal. Love Dad

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am trying to quit smoking as well. I am homeless, trying to get back on my feet and I have no business spending money on cigarettes and reading what you wrote and your dad’s reply was really graceful to me. thanks, I can be really hard on myself as well and I need to cut myself some slack. thanks.


    • Good luck with quitting smoking! I hope you are more successful at it than i have been so far.
      We have been “homeless” for almost 6years now. Sure, we have a RV and a travel trailer, but it it’s still basically homeless. We are just fortunate to have a roof we can call home base. Our first rv was given to us. It wasn’t grand but it worked and definitely was better than the alternative. You’ll get back on your feet. Just keep moving those feet forward 😉


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