I did really good yesterday. I only had 5 cigarettes. By the end of the day I was really feeling the nicotine deficiency but I’m doing my best to just breathe through it and not take any victims. This is not to say that I haven’t wanted to take victims because absolutely everyone seems to be extremely annoying or arguementative right now, but I know it is not them but me.
This morning is the hardest so far. I usually smoke while I drink my coffee and write blog posts so I am really coming up against the habit pretty intensely. I could take a few drags off a cigarette to help ease the intensity but I really don’t want to. I know I said my stop date is the 1st, but I really don’t want to smoke anymore. That said, I am going to be gentle with myself and allow the occasional drag or two to help with the cravings over the next few days. Maybe I’ll just take puffs off of my husband’s vape pen instead.
I feel a little nutso right now. Anxious. I can feel the part of my brain the goes into survival mode wanting to kick in. Its really hard to not let it. Panic is a very powerful emotion but it is just that: an emotion. Perhaps that will be my mantra today. Its just an emotion, its just an emotion, its just an emotion…_____ (<insert loud screaming here). 🙂