Day 13!! Half way through the alphabet! It doesn’t feel like I have done this series for almost two weeks. As much as I was looking forward to writing this series, I don’t feel its been very successful so far. I know that the likes I was getting before I started writing this series have dropped significantly so it makes me wonder if this was really the good idea I believed it was. Oh well, I guess. I’m motivated to finish it if for no other reason than it is something I started.
I actually started writing this post yesterday. I don’t know if I stayed up too late watching Netflix or if it’s the change in the weather, but I had absolutely no motivation what-so-ever. Not just for writing, but everything. I get myself up and moving, went to work, ran errands afterward because I got paid yesterday, but that was about it. It still took the whole day to do everything but it was as if I had an anchor attached to my waist that I had to drag behind me. I guess saying I had absolutely no motivation at all isn’t completely accurate. I was motivated to get everything done so I could come home.
A force or influence that causes someone to do something. What motivates you? I believe that motivation is like a car engine. It is the power to get where you want to go and desire is the fuel. Sure, not all motivation is based on something positive but I don’t think that means that desire isn’t the seed that grows motivation to reach the desired outcome.
I have decided its time to quit smoking, again. It is not my first attempt at this, but I really, really want to succeed at this this time. I wanted to succeed before, but I think there were some reservations about it. I have smoked for a long, long time…long enough that smoking just seems as if it is a part of the whole. What does a non-smoking me look like? Since I have smoked since I was 11 years old, I don’t know/remember.
I am extremely motivated to succeed at this. There are so many great reasons why I should quit. It would save money, improve my health, increase my energy level, potentially improve my attitude (once I’m over the withdrawals), I’ll smell better… The list is almost endless. It’s not like I didn’t know all these benefits of quitting smoking before, they just seem…more bold this time.
I have been spending the last 2 weeks envisioning myself as a non-smoker. Every time I have had a cigarette during this time, I have asked myself why I am having the cigarette: am I smoking out of habit or am I smoking because I want to have a cigarette? If it was because I wanted to have a cigarette, I questioned why I wanted to have one. This has made me realize something that is actually a very obvious thing: even the cigarettes I smoke because I believe I want one are cigarettes smoked out of habit. How dumb is that?
So I have developed a plan. I have downloaded three different stop smoking meditations and bought a good pair of ear buds. When I want to have a cigarette, I am going to put my ear buds in and listen to one or all of the meditations, even if I have the cigarette anyway. I have picked a date by which I will no longer be smoking: October 1st. This gives me two weeks of listening to the meditations during the day when I want to smoke and when I go to bed. By September 24th, I plan on having a set number of cigarettes I will allow myself to have in a day, with the hope that I will not want them all.
I want this, desire the outcome, am motivated to break this incredibly insane habit. I know there is the addicted part to this equation. I have gotten overly emotional during the physical withdrawal process before, which has always sent me reaching for a cigarette. This is part of the reason I have set up the plan starting the 24th, to reduce the severity of the initial physical withdrawal process.
I also plan on blogging about how I am progressing through this process. It’s an accountability thing. And here is my pre-warning: It may get crazy in here. 🙂 Wish me luck and have the most wonderful day, Everyone! Feel free to let me know what motivates you or about something you are extremely motivated about right now. I love to here the stories of other people. It helps me learn so much about myself.