I’m going to do today’s entry a little differently. No dictionary definition. I think today is going to be a ramble; a writing for the sake of writing. I’m liking the way I’ve been doing these posts, but I am really feeling the desire to just write without research, without trying to follow some format. Today, I’m going to just be me.
Life has been really hectic. What else is new, right? I guess I’m reaching a point when I need some time to just be. I’m constantly working on something, figuring out this and that, making game plans for how to move forward with one thing or another or just stay afloat. My brain is always going and there is seldom a time when I am not directing its path.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It keeps me on top of what needs to be taken care of, but I’ve neglected the part of me that needs (yes, needs) to just let go of the left foot, right foot, repeat routine and just be. There never seems to be enough time for Mieke Time.
Well, ok, that’s not completely accurate. Blogging is Mieke Time, but even that has become something that is regimented into a time slot. I’m talking about time to just do whatever, no plan, no time limitations, no focusing on the day to day necessities of my life. Time to just be and let the day carry me where it does.
My daughter and I were talking about this last night. I’ve been so busy for so long when a day comes along with nothing in the schedule, I quickly fill it with all of the things I don’t feel like I have enough time to accomplish otherwise. Its not really me time. There is no goal of just being for a day. I’m not sure when or how this stopped being a priority for me but it has. That’s not good.
I could schedule a couple of days off…it wouldn’t be a problem work wise…but then I’d be worried about the money not being made on those days. A couple of days without work can financially alter our world a lot. I guess its time for me to pre-plan a few days off so that I can take some time to just be without expectations, from me or anyone else.
This can be hard to do, though, even if I have the time and inclination. My husband is one that needs to be going on something at all times; he can’t be idle. He’s uncomfortable being idle. I’m not saying that that is necessarily a bad thing. It’s just how he works. Unfortunately, this means that, whenever there is some idle time, he is filling it with projects and, as I am the hub of this family, he includes me in his plans and/or wants to talk them out with me; blueprint his plans with me. This immediately puts me back into the “solving the problems of the world” mode, which most definitely is not “just be” mode. Well, not my concept of ‘just be’ anyway.
Taking the time to just be is when I get to refuel Mieke. Not just my soul, but all of me. My brain gets a rest from problem solving non-stop, my body gets a break from the rigors of work and the stuff that needs to get done at home, my soul gets a chance to be center stage and direct the day, and my heart gets to just drown in the peace and joy of reconnecting with the very basics of being alive. It really is enormously healing.
How does just being show up in your life? Is it something you have to schedule in or does it just happen? What are the benefits of just being for you?