The Deepest of Longings…

my point of view

my point of view

“There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you. The criterion is: Have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them! So keep seeking! If what you do has brought you inner peace, stay with what you believe is right.”

Peace pilgrim (1908-1981)

(I found this quote on mindofnature.wordpress.com…you should check it out!!!)

 

I couldn’t have come across this quote at a better time. It completely fits what I want to blog about. Best part is I didn’t go looking for it. I was just reading some blogs and stumbled across it and the moment formed like a photograph.

Last night, my husband and I were lying in bed talking about this and that and the other thing. The topic of what each of us would really want to do if money and time were not a factor came up. Usually my husband talks about starting an intentional community (something I have absolutely no interest in doing what-so-ever) and I tend to just listen. I just listen because when this topic usually comes up, he needs to just dream a bit, step out of the struggles we conquer from day to day, so I let him. Last night was different.

Last night, before he got around to intentional communities, I chimed in. I’m not sure really why I felt the need, but apparently I did. I talked about starting a dog rescue. It is truly something I would love to do. I don’t need to be the caped crusader on this, just a part of it.

If money were no object, I would fund the building of what my ideal dog rescue would be like, help find volunteers and paid staff, and help out here and there. Mostly, just knowing that the dogs that come to the rescue center of my dreams would never be faced with being euthanized simply for being the ‘wrong’ breed, never have to worry about cruel humans betraying them…they would get to just be dogs; loved, exercised, trained, well fed, vaccinated, spayed/neutered, loved even more. Sure there is more to it than that, but that is the basic jist of it.

As I was falling asleep, a member of the committee that resides in my head (we all have one: happy, grumpy, doubter, eternally hopeful, psycho. The names may be different, but they are the same ones, I’m sure) quietly whispered “What about photography?” It was like someone flipped a switch. It was as if I was instantly transported to that wonderful dream world.

The scene was laid out in front of me of what that could look like. Even the “behind the scenes” parts where there. For instance, I am not a professional photographer. My photography is amateur at best, and I am just fine with that. The story/dream that unfolded included that in it.

In the dream, I would head off to different places that I have always wanted to see to take photographs. When I would return home, I would look at all of the photos with Lance, telling him my adventures. We would select the ones I found the most appealing, and ones he thought were great, then post them on my blog (yep, a blogger even in my dreams). In different parts of the dream, Lance would go with me on these photography adventures.

You know the one thing that stood out the most? I was the happiest I’ve ever felt. There was a deep, inner calm that I am not sure I have actually ever felt. It was as if I was looking at what I would look and be like in a life less contaminated by stress.  I was living the life I was meant to live. Well, at least that is what it felt like in the dream.

The dream, the feelings of the dream, has stuck with me all day. I have day dreamed about what it would be like to be able to just head out to anywhere I want to go, near or far, and just got take photos of whatever caught my eye. My mind keeps returning to it.

There is a very strong part of me that wants to just stop doing everything else, the day to day grind of staying alive, being vigilant about every penny, factoring every potential outcome of every decision so as to make the best decision possible, working at a job that is just that…a job, something that brings in money. As I think about the dream, replay parts of it, I feel this nearly overwhelming longing to have that life. I need to make this happen. The feeling of longing is that strong.

So, how do I make that happen? What is the first step? I know the destination I want to reach, I just am unsure of the path to get there. I would love some inspiration, advice. Anyone???

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About dragonflygypsyusa

Over-thinker with way too much availability to the internet to research whatever might come to mind, amateur photographer, dog enthusiast, learning every day, working on finding my undamaged self.
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5 Responses to The Deepest of Longings…

  1. designandrea says:

    It’s funny how I’m on the same spot, but my dream is calligraphy. Don’t get me wrong, photos are a huge part of my life (specially since I started blogging), and I want to get better at it. But I’m still staring at the computer screen with the option to buy and online course of calligraphy highly rated. Maybe there are classes around you? Maybe photographers that you can reach out and ask for starting tips? I know most of the options to start cost money, but maybe start by commenting on photography blogs about how they started?

    just a thought! good luck in achieving your goals!

    Like

  2. Tim Taylor says:

    As I was readin’ this post, I was transported to my dream place momentarily. Like you, one of my dreams is photography, the other is woodworking. I dearly love to create things out of wood. Thank you for takin’ me there, even for just a few minutes today, away from my less than dreamy real life 🙂

    Like

  3. Pingback: The Lens of My Camera… | Dragonfly Gypsy USA

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