Last night, as I was falling asleep, in that floaty state that resides right between falling alseep and asleep, where things can get kind of surreal, I heard this quote from deep inside the recesses of my mind.
“She woke up one day and decided that she never wanted to feel that way anymore, or ever again, so, she changed.”
I don’t know whose quote it is, but I stumbled upon it one day, at a time when it really caught me, deep in my soul. I haven’t thought of it in quite some time, but it seems appropriate to where I’m at in my life right now. Things are changing, for the better.
i’ve been going pretty non-stop lately, as I have said in many posts on here. I’ve been feeling very driven to change how my life has been going for a while. The constant money flux, the ‘never quite enough,’ stressed about everything mode I’ve been in for a few years now got really, really old. Its not like we haven’t tried different things to change that. We always just end up in the same place – broke, stressed, depressed, hopeless.
When things started to head that way this time, I got really angry. Honestly, angry. I wanted to throw a temper tantrum that would challenge the most determined 3 year old coming down from a sugar high.
But what would that have solved? Sure, I might have felt a little better, releasing that pent up stress, but I would have still been exactly where I was.
Without a whole lot of thought to it, I decided I was going to make this stop, no matter what it took. I had had enough of the crap. I stalked toward something I knew we could make money at for a start: curb address numbers.
Then, despite the fact that I don’t really want to be cleaning houses/condos/apartments, I grabbed the cleaning jobs offered me. They were supposed to be only 3-5 cleans a month, but as each additional clean was offered, I accepted, even though I do not trust my minivan right now.
Things really feel like they are changing, but not in the same way they have in the past. This time, it feels like solid change, not the change that is a temporary fix to the undesired situation. And you know what??
IT FEELS AWESOME!!!
Have a great day, everyone!! I’m off to participate in this incredible change in my life. 😉
Changes … I think I need some of those about now. Good luck and always keep your chin up!
I think what I’m learning from these changes right now is, no matter how much I let others try to ‘change’ the situation, even those in my family, the change I’m longing for wasn’t going to happen until I take charge and make it happen, whole heartedly. I got stuck in feeling like there were no options until I get feed up, pissed, and stepped out of my uncomfortable comfort.
Yep, you’re right. The only substantial and meaningful changes that we make must come from inside US, we have to make them happen. You got this! I have faith in ya! 😀
Thank you so much! I appreciate the confidence 😉
You are most welcome 🙂