Loss. What a personal thing, yet so understood by everyone. There are so many types of loss: loss of innocence, loss of a loved one, loss of a lifestyle, loss of all you believed to be true, loss of the brand new shower gloves you just bought…the list, I think, may be endless.
Some losses are easier to share than others. I’m a pretty open book about most everything, but loss is different in many ways. Sometimes I need to completely make the loss my own, really immerse myself in it, before I am capable of processing it to the point I can share the pain and then let it go. I’ve had some tell me this is not completely healthy, but it works for me.
Take when my phone recently decided to stop functioning well enough for me to continue using it. I know, I know. Its a phone. Get over it. Right?
I hear what you”re saying, but it just wasn’t/isn’t that easy for me. I loved that phone. It really worked for me. And, I think the phone loved me, too. (ok. not really but you get my point)
Last year, sometime, my phone was the victim of a senseless crime. My daughter’s phone lunged from her lap and attacked my phone, breaking its screen. As I have always been extremely careful with all of my phones, this was the very first broken screen I had ever had. I was devastated and began to wonder every day if this was the day my screen would start to blacken.
Despite the phone going through multiple other incidents that quite literally should have ended its life, it kept going strong. When pieces of the screen started to fall off, I knew the end was coming. At least, I thought I knew. That champion of a phone kept going for over a year since its attack.
One evening, my phone notified me of an email. I picked it up, swiped it open, read the email, slid open the key board to reply to the email, sent said email, closed keyboard, and the screen blacked out. I couldn’t get the screen to stay on for anything. I shut the phone down. A good solid charge and some time off was all it needed, right?
Unfortunately, no. The next day, I powered up the phone. I let it do its full start up while I made my morning coffee. Once outside in my Coffee Chair, I swiped the screen to open it to the desktop. Good so far. Then I touched an app that I had on the home screen. Pure blackness. This sucks.
So, since then, I have been using the phone that attacked my phone in the first place. It is a fully touch screen phone so I am having to learn on-screen keyboarding, which I do not like, so far. I’ll admit that I have recharged my old phone, once, since then, with the hopes of it miraculously working. *Sigh* No luck.
I think I’m somewhat in mourning over the phone. I have become very phone dispondant. I was supposed to re-up my phone plan about 2 weeks ago and haven’t. “I’ll show you, Universe!” lol